Is Feeling The Burn

Most days I grab a cup of coffee at the Starbucks drive-thru on my way to work. And that's really about it. I don't drink any more during the day or night, and I don't drink coffee hardly at all on my days off. I don't drink soda (unless offered) so I like to think I am not overdoing it in the caffeine consumption, but I honestly don't know what has prompted these two vicious attacks on my guts these last two days.

Yesterday I had a cup of iced coffee, unsweetened, with non-fat milk, and an orange before I went into work. About a half hour later my stomach tied up into cramps but only lasted about ten minutes before I chalked it up to the acid from the oranges. Today I decided to forgo the orange and get the same grande cup of iced coffee. Pretty much what I get every day during the summer months.

Almost an hour later I had the same exact attack, but stronger.... so much stronger. Like a gas attack times twenty to the tenth power and then cubed, or something like that. I was alone back in the warehouse so nobody knew what was going on, but I was doubled over yelling and crying and finally managed to get to the phone and call Joe, who had my car today because he was heading over to Portsmouth at one o'clock to meet with friends for the fantasy football draft. I only live about 4 1/2 miles from my store so by the time Joe got there to get me the spasms had mostly stopped but it was still difficult to walk and it felt as if I had been punched hard in the gut, so I came home.

Now having chewed two of Joe's Gas Gone tablets and three Tylenols I am at least in a sitting position without screaming. So what is it? Am I having a bad reaction to coffee all of a sudden? I like to think that I'm not drinking... that much to have something like that devour me from the inside. I hate missing work though. I hate leaving the crew missing one soldier on a busy Sunday afternoon, but honestly, as tender as I still am I don't know what good I could have done. And going to the doctor would probably result in a lot of quacky Doc-N-The-Box advise since my general practitioner doesn't work the Sabbath (like most I assume). But Joe just called from Portsmouth to check up on me (I insisted he go because I really am feeling better than I did before) and I don't feel like there's any kind of emergency, but usually it's an emergency that would keep me from working in the first place, because I always need the money. Just, it was so weird. That pain was, as the kids say, off the hook. But I'm better now. At least, for the moment. No more coffee for me for awhile. We shall wait and see.

I hope my boss isn't expecting a doctor's note. Ironically I may wind up going out to Norfolk General anyway because my friend Mike's elderly father is in the hospital and, well, it doesn't look good. Joe had a flash that maybe I was feeling "sympathy pains" for Mike's father because of his failing liver and kidneys at that very moment, and boy, not that I typically believe in those sort of things but wow that would be a serious trip.

Speaking of trips, the "PM" part of the Tylenol PM is finally kicking in and I better go lay down before I find some heavy machinery to operate.