Scar Tissue
Can somebody out there tell me who that spaced-out funk band was in the Lee Marvin movie Point Blank? That had to be one of the freakiest things I had ever heard/seen in a movie in a long time.
Although I suppose I could just go back and check the ending credits on the DVD. Like, duh.
And speaking of freaky, could it possibly be signaling the end of days when Jandek decides to go on tour? Not like he'd make it out in my direction anyway. Hey all my palies in Austin... let me know how he was.
I've been off work for 3 days straight, and I've been too, er, sore to exercise until today, so I got up at 6:30am and went running for almost 2 hours. I probably could have gone a lot longer, given how cooped up I've felt. But there's something about pounding the pavement, sweat running down the eyes while "Holy Ghost" by The Bar-Kays blasts full volume out of my iPod that really centers a person and and clears their mind better than even the longest meditation session (not that I've meditated since high school anyway). I really need to regain my focus. Start purging my system of all my vices. If I want to start making things better, concentrating on the things that matter, I need to put aside all the things that don't matter but have let distract me. The good news is that I've never been one to cultivate a whole lot of crippling vices to begin with. But I am known for having an obsessive personality and am capable of latching onto one thing and riding it into the ground, and when I finally snap out of it I look around and realize how much precious time and energy has been wasted when I could have been doing something really productive with actual results.
My biggest concern right now: Money. And how to get it.
There are so many things that I want and need to do that involve it right now. Like to start keeping up with these bills that are stacking up. Like finally buy that house Joe and I want. And not having live hand-to-mouth every day.
I am willing to put aside luxuries in favor of some financial security right at this moment. There are the things I need, and then there are things that I want. I want more art supplies. I want to go to Barcelona, Spain. I want to get my breast reduction (which I went in for a consultation, but more on that later, perhaps).
But at least I feel like I might be getting some things done soon, and now that I've taken care of a lot of what's been bothering me I feel like I can have a clear head again to start things rolling.
Oh, and since coming back from L.A. I patched things up again with my best friend. I baked her a huge batch of her favorite cookies (she loves my chocolate chip made from scratch) and brought them over, and we talked things out. Vented a little (okay a lot) and although we may still be a little mad at each other at least we seem to agree that that's okay, but we still love each other anyway.
Looks like another 100-degree-in-the-shade kinda day. Glad I took my jog early. I may actually sit outside over at the picnic tables and read a little. I've been doing that every day, sitting outside with The Best Of Myles by Flann O'Brien, trying to get my infected arm exposed to the sun as much as possible. I have had this weird hair follicle infection for years that causes my arms to bleed and scar and itch like mad, and sometimes a little sunburn helps it heal. I've been doing this every day and I'm getting brown as a berry -- or at least my right arm is. But there's so much scar tissue there I don't know what fat lot of good it's going to do for it anymore. But the sun does feel pretty good (in short spurts, that is). Sometimes it feel magnificent to sweat.
Although I suppose I could just go back and check the ending credits on the DVD. Like, duh.
And speaking of freaky, could it possibly be signaling the end of days when Jandek decides to go on tour? Not like he'd make it out in my direction anyway. Hey all my palies in Austin... let me know how he was.
I've been off work for 3 days straight, and I've been too, er, sore to exercise until today, so I got up at 6:30am and went running for almost 2 hours. I probably could have gone a lot longer, given how cooped up I've felt. But there's something about pounding the pavement, sweat running down the eyes while "Holy Ghost" by The Bar-Kays blasts full volume out of my iPod that really centers a person and and clears their mind better than even the longest meditation session (not that I've meditated since high school anyway). I really need to regain my focus. Start purging my system of all my vices. If I want to start making things better, concentrating on the things that matter, I need to put aside all the things that don't matter but have let distract me. The good news is that I've never been one to cultivate a whole lot of crippling vices to begin with. But I am known for having an obsessive personality and am capable of latching onto one thing and riding it into the ground, and when I finally snap out of it I look around and realize how much precious time and energy has been wasted when I could have been doing something really productive with actual results.
My biggest concern right now: Money. And how to get it.
There are so many things that I want and need to do that involve it right now. Like to start keeping up with these bills that are stacking up. Like finally buy that house Joe and I want. And not having live hand-to-mouth every day.
I am willing to put aside luxuries in favor of some financial security right at this moment. There are the things I need, and then there are things that I want. I want more art supplies. I want to go to Barcelona, Spain. I want to get my breast reduction (which I went in for a consultation, but more on that later, perhaps).
But at least I feel like I might be getting some things done soon, and now that I've taken care of a lot of what's been bothering me I feel like I can have a clear head again to start things rolling.
Oh, and since coming back from L.A. I patched things up again with my best friend. I baked her a huge batch of her favorite cookies (she loves my chocolate chip made from scratch) and brought them over, and we talked things out. Vented a little (okay a lot) and although we may still be a little mad at each other at least we seem to agree that that's okay, but we still love each other anyway.
Looks like another 100-degree-in-the-shade kinda day. Glad I took my jog early. I may actually sit outside over at the picnic tables and read a little. I've been doing that every day, sitting outside with The Best Of Myles by Flann O'Brien, trying to get my infected arm exposed to the sun as much as possible. I have had this weird hair follicle infection for years that causes my arms to bleed and scar and itch like mad, and sometimes a little sunburn helps it heal. I've been doing this every day and I'm getting brown as a berry -- or at least my right arm is. But there's so much scar tissue there I don't know what fat lot of good it's going to do for it anymore. But the sun does feel pretty good (in short spurts, that is). Sometimes it feel magnificent to sweat.
posted by Melissa at 8:38 AM
2 Comments:
Howdy, Tex!
Get a bike! No, really. It's easier on the back and legs than jogging or running, and it's overall less stressful on the body. I've just about quit running since I'm not the Spring chicken anymore. Just stay away from the bike specialty stores. Walmart would fill your need and wallet. You're not minute or large so any standard women's bike would be fine.
Jandek on tour? I may have to check out the NYC show. I dunno why some folks are up in arms about this. If all they liked was his seclusion then I doubt they really enjoy listening to his music anyway. But that's just me. I do like listening to him, especially when I'm reading.
Enjoy!
I've actually considered investing in a bicycle. The problem is my area is just plain bad for biking. The roads are narrow and there are no sidewalks so pedestrians crowd the streets. When Steve lived with me he had a bike and he complained that he couldn't take it anywhere around here. Then again I never really saw him try.
I would still love to get one. I love biking and haven't done it in years. Makes me wish I lived on Hilton Head Island where there were miles of bike paths built in along the main roads. More people seem to bike on that island than actually drive. I loved biking there.
Yeah, whassup with all the new Jandek hate-ah's? Sure he's losing his mystique, but his music is still the same, and I am intensely curious to hear how that kind of thing comes across live. You'd figure the even bigger fans would be just as curious too.
But dude, if you go to the NYC show you gotta give me a full report! And pics would be nifty!
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