Nursery Rhyme Breather

Wouldn't ya know it. Soon as I book my flight for Austin on the week of February 20th, I see this this over at the Circus Theatricals website for the same time period:


Ahh, Jack. Jack Jack Jack JackJackJack Jaaaack. I haven't seen you perform since The Misanthrope back in.... oh, when was that again? 2005? And Macbeth the year before? And now you are tempting me west yet again knowing my love of Shakespeare? Ah, Jack... thou foul, foul incubus. But he will be getting no lean and hungry looks from me in the audience this time, because as much as I miss him dearly, I'm monumentally stoked to to be going to Austin. To meet Joe's sister, and to hang with Randy and Lizzie, who are already collectively wetting themselves with excitement to show us around their hipster domain. Sorry Jack, my enticing stage siren... when you finally star in Oh, Calcutta! I'll be on the next jet out, I promise. :)

Feeling better today. Sore all over, but the good news is I'll live. Calling out sick yesterday at least gave me an opportunity to lay around and do diddly-squat. And catch up with a movie that I haven't seen since I was about thirteen years old...

I remember it was around the summer of 1983, more or less, and I had just gotten cable put into our house and being the first person on my street to have cable my friends were always over to marvel at this amazing concept of seeing R-rated movies in the middle of the day (well back then, you could see R-rated movies at all hours of the day, unlike now). When the opening credits to Student Bodies appeared on the screen on HBO my friends and I squealed with delight at the prospect of watching a horror movie during the lunch hour, especially one that we had never seen or heard of before. Little did any of us know that Student Bodies was actually a PG-rated horror movie spoof from 1981, allegedly the first of its kind, predating Scream and all those other silly parodies and ironic send-ups that are popular with the kids these days. But we had no idea going into this thing, which made our discovery far more memorable. And hilarious.

Here is the first seven minutes of the movie, to give you an idea of what my friends and I, ranging from fourteen to eleven, witnessed as the film unspooled before us. Expecting sheer horror, and perhaps a little gore, we were quietly perplexed by the weirdness of the first minute or so, with the "Halloween/Friday The 13th/Jamie Lee Curtis' Birthday" date flashing below the screen, the Breather (allegedly comedian Richard Belzer under another name) peeking through a mail slot on an all-glass door to look into the house, and how we burst out laughing during the conversation with the Breather and the babysitter on the telephone ("I SAID, *pantpantpant*"). When the words "Unlocked" flash over the doorknob I remember my friend Jeanne saying "What is this, Sesame Street?" But what floored us all was the part (at the end of this clip) where the Breather is looking through his cache of murder weapons, and all of us were shouting out which one we thought he should use ("Go for the knife! No, the hatchet! No, no use the rope!") but when he picks up the paper clip we all cry out at once, "THE PAPER CLIP???!!!" and dissolved into an eruption of uncontrollable hysterics. From that moment on, we didn't care about horror and gore. We were along for the ride. They had us at "paper clip".

Seeing it now, after so many years (and several video rentals shortly after the first viewing during the first initial year) it was amazing not only how much I remembered, but how much of the gags and dialogue I had retained but couldn't place for years, quoting lines and wondering where I had first heard it, only to discover that they had all come from this one movie. Reliving it all again, I was delighted. Just like old times. One of my favorite "Alan Smithee" films of all time, hands down.