Better Where You Are

Reading that horror movie article from the previous post, with its mention of W.W. Jacobs's 1902 horror classic The Monkey's Paw, made me have a dream last night that I found a record that I had all throughout my childhood up through my teen years, 40 Funky Hits (released by the Longines Symphonette Society as one of those "As Seen On TV" commercials in the 1970's) and how probably the last time I ever remember having that record in my possession had something to do with that famous short story. And how I always associate The Monkey's Paw with "Dirty Water" by The Standells.

My high school senior year creative writing class was working on a project, making our own "radio plays" by pairing us up into groups and recording our own dramatic interpretations of classic literature complete with sound effects and mood music. My group of girls selected The Monkey's Paw, and I was to play Sergeant-Major Morris, he who brings the paw to the White family, and we chose to act out everything physically in the A/V room, where we could get into character and use our footsteps and door slams as sound effects.

But what about music? We had a record player in the A/V room, but nobody remembered to bring any tunes. Then I remembered that I had my 40 Funky Hits record out in my car so I raced out to get it and bring it in.

Now, uh, where's talkin' a novelty record here folks, not exactly the kind of playlist suited for a spooky story. Yet during the foreboding line where Herbert says, "I expect you'll find the cash tied up in a big bag in the middle of your bed, and something horrible squatting up on top of the wardrobe watching you as you pocket your ill-gotten gains." the girls insisted that when we reach the world "squatting" it should be hit hard, with an elongated squaaaating, while the opening chords to The Standells "Dirty Water" chime in. And no, no matter how much I protested, I was overwhelmingly out-voted. And oddly enough, I was sick the day that we had to present our play to the class, so I don't know what the reaction was to our choice of terrifying "mood music", especially to the mental image of a demon figure squaaaating on top of a wardrobe to the tune of "Dirty Water". But damnitall, these days how I wish I knew.