Here Comes The Rains Again

My death cough is coming back. Not quite full blast as of yet, but it's been building since last weekend and and I've been gulping down outrageous amounts of Robitussin DM to open up my lungs enough to get me through the day. Is it illegal to whine and blubber online about how much I'm willing to prostitute myself for a bottle of Tussionex right now? Like, if I advertise myself on Craigslist for outcalls and instead of "100 roses" can "roses" be Tussionex instead? And instead of sleeping with the guy can I just, um, hang out in his hotel room and watch the final season of Battlestar Galactica with him? Because I still haven't seen it yet. Although I'll probably end up passing out halfway through it because I just downed half a bottle of Tussionex.

Okay, despite how that sounds, I'm not a Tussionex addict. I only get one prescription a year, maybe two if I'm lucky, or maybe every other year depending on if my cough makes its dreaded appearance. My doctor gets mad at me for asking her for more when I run out, and I guess I should be thankful and grateful for having such an ethical physician at my employ. They say Tussionex is highly habit forming, although I can't imagine why because the stuff does nothing but make you want to sleep, and I don't know what all the fun there is in that. I rather hate taking it, to be honest. I am, however, highly addicted to not coughing, and if they can find some other substance that can work just as well that poses no danger I am more than completely on board with switching over. Or better yet, find out what the hell is wrong with me for a change. I've had this condition ever year since I went to visit my Aunt Ruby in Dallas, Texas back in 1982 and no pulmonary, allergy, or ears nose and throat specialist can tell me what causes me to break down into crippling, back-breaking coughs once a year every year since I was thirteen years old, and have it go on for months at a time until it has run its course. See doctors? Maybe my greed for Tussionex has less to do with me being a junkie and me just willing to go the distance to find some semblance of relief, since none of you yobbos will!

Okay, no more coffee for me today.