The Moving Finger Writes...
Somebody whom I had only known on the internet, someone whose work and writings in the realm of fanfiction passed away this past week. And I just thought I'd post a brief tribute to her. Brief not from lacking in content. But from lacking the words to say just how important her work was to me during a particular era in my life.
Back in 1996, I had never heard of the word "fanfiction". Of course it had existed in other formats for at least 3 decades previous, before there ever was such a thing as the internet. But during the apogee of my Star Trek phase, especially during my obsession with the character of Q, I stumbled purely by accident upon the story "Q-Struck" by Atara Stein. And things changed. I changed. The internet went from a machine with limited appeal to a place where I suddenly, surprising found myself wanting to be.
And I know what most people think: Fanfiction, really? Really? The secret world of bored housewives who write softcore porn about their favorite male television characters? Nah, folks. That's too easy. It doesn't take much effort to lump in everyone in the fanfic community into what might make up a mere auxiliary of the genre. Dr. Stein was a professor of English literature in southern California, a mother of two, and an open homosexual who also unlocked the first doors to the concepts behind sadism, bondage sex and dominant/submissive roles and opened my eyes to the mechanics behind the lifestyle even years after picking up my first de Sade book with puzzlement. Les 120 Journées de Sodome may have introduced me to the world of whippings and humiliation. But "His Beloved Pet" spelled it out for me with the simplicity of the kind of hand puppets that I could more easily relate to.
Once I finally got over my star-struck nervous jitters and reached out to make contact with her (many years later, I might add) Atara and I would speak occasionally, often about gender roles in modern television, and our conversations were often debates back and forth on the issues that I discussed in my article for The High Hat (actually an old blog post that they asked if they could publish) and her charm and wit and brilliance was always an inspiration to be on the receiving end. I also bought her book, The Byronic Hero In Film, Fiction, and Television, a subject matter that has always appealed to me as well as providing insight on some of my all-time favorite characters from those three genres that I hadn't even recognized myself.
A few years ago Atara became afflicted with multiple sclerosis and had to retire from teaching, and her writing became more sporadic, concentrating more on graphic art for her creative outlets. I still checked her blog at least once a week, and in her last post appeared to be in relative good spirits, considering. This morning after learning of her death I sat in the living room by the bookshelf, where the bottom row is lined with several thick, three-ring binder books filled with printed-out copies of "Q-Struck", "His Beloved Pet", and many of her other literate endeavors. I can still remember that 1996 winter's day at my parents house, using the only computer our family had at the time, printing all one hundred and some pages of "Q-Struck" out on the computer printer, still too much of a mental Luddite to know how to save anything to disk yet. I left the room for a bit and came back to discover my rather conservative, deeply religious father, a man with more of a periphery knowledge of Star Trek rather than being any sort of fan, standing over the printer with a single sheet from the printing fanfic in his hand, quietly skimming it over with his eyes.
I was alarmed at first, as to the reaction I'd receive about downloading gay smut off the internet, but I remember how my dad turned to me, eyes wide with emotion, and exclaimed, "Wow, Melissa, this.... this is really, really good."
I never forgot that.
And I'll never forget you, Atara.
Thank you for many, many years of your talents. And all the great things to read on all those long plane trips to Vegas.
Uh, was that brief enough?
Back in 1996, I had never heard of the word "fanfiction". Of course it had existed in other formats for at least 3 decades previous, before there ever was such a thing as the internet. But during the apogee of my Star Trek phase, especially during my obsession with the character of Q, I stumbled purely by accident upon the story "Q-Struck" by Atara Stein. And things changed. I changed. The internet went from a machine with limited appeal to a place where I suddenly, surprising found myself wanting to be.
And I know what most people think: Fanfiction, really? Really? The secret world of bored housewives who write softcore porn about their favorite male television characters? Nah, folks. That's too easy. It doesn't take much effort to lump in everyone in the fanfic community into what might make up a mere auxiliary of the genre. Dr. Stein was a professor of English literature in southern California, a mother of two, and an open homosexual who also unlocked the first doors to the concepts behind sadism, bondage sex and dominant/submissive roles and opened my eyes to the mechanics behind the lifestyle even years after picking up my first de Sade book with puzzlement. Les 120 Journées de Sodome may have introduced me to the world of whippings and humiliation. But "His Beloved Pet" spelled it out for me with the simplicity of the kind of hand puppets that I could more easily relate to.
Once I finally got over my star-struck nervous jitters and reached out to make contact with her (many years later, I might add) Atara and I would speak occasionally, often about gender roles in modern television, and our conversations were often debates back and forth on the issues that I discussed in my article for The High Hat (actually an old blog post that they asked if they could publish) and her charm and wit and brilliance was always an inspiration to be on the receiving end. I also bought her book, The Byronic Hero In Film, Fiction, and Television, a subject matter that has always appealed to me as well as providing insight on some of my all-time favorite characters from those three genres that I hadn't even recognized myself.
A few years ago Atara became afflicted with multiple sclerosis and had to retire from teaching, and her writing became more sporadic, concentrating more on graphic art for her creative outlets. I still checked her blog at least once a week, and in her last post appeared to be in relative good spirits, considering. This morning after learning of her death I sat in the living room by the bookshelf, where the bottom row is lined with several thick, three-ring binder books filled with printed-out copies of "Q-Struck", "His Beloved Pet", and many of her other literate endeavors. I can still remember that 1996 winter's day at my parents house, using the only computer our family had at the time, printing all one hundred and some pages of "Q-Struck" out on the computer printer, still too much of a mental Luddite to know how to save anything to disk yet. I left the room for a bit and came back to discover my rather conservative, deeply religious father, a man with more of a periphery knowledge of Star Trek rather than being any sort of fan, standing over the printer with a single sheet from the printing fanfic in his hand, quietly skimming it over with his eyes.
I was alarmed at first, as to the reaction I'd receive about downloading gay smut off the internet, but I remember how my dad turned to me, eyes wide with emotion, and exclaimed, "Wow, Melissa, this.... this is really, really good."
I never forgot that.
And I'll never forget you, Atara.
Thank you for many, many years of your talents. And all the great things to read on all those long plane trips to Vegas.
Uh, was that brief enough?
posted by Melissa at 6:25 AM
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