Roll In My Sweet Baby's Arms

I gotta say I'm feeling.... pretty darn good right now.

Remarkable, I know. After so-and-so many years, since I moved, since I gained weight, since work bent me over the information table and stole my innocence... this is probably the first time I can genuinely recall experiencing a noticeable... heft taken off my chest (and I don't mean my garbanzos neither). And since nothing's really changed except for my diet I suppose I have to chalk it all up to that for the time being. No meat, no sugar, very little dairy, and whole grain breads and pastas (my groceries this morning consisted of only pineapple, melon, grapes, avocado, bananas, broccoli, carrots, hummus, salsa, and a bag of raw mixed nuts) and I'm amazed how not hungry I am, and how wide awake I feel even in the middle of the day when my body would normally try to shut down -- although I did pass out a little on the couch this afternoon while watching The Last Detail right after lunch. And I sensed I've lost weight. I certainly don't look as if I have, but more importantly I feel it, in my carriage, in the way I move, and the way I execute the little things I do every day. It's fantastic. It's the way I used to feel. Alive

I think this time I really am starting to come back. And in the past I've been hesitant to repeat that hope in fear that I might jinx it, over and over again like I have. Meanwhile, my friends and everyone I owe emails, I'm sorry it's taken me a bit to get to you. On top of work being hell this week and not being online as much, the depression kept me practically catatonic for days on end. I'm finally seeing a break in the clouds. And hopefully, a better me that all of you can enjoy again. Thank you a thousand times for your adoring support.