Thursday, April 27, 2006

Season Cycle

Good things do come in cycles, and I know it must sound mondo hokey of me but I honestly do believe in things like that. Cycles and whatnot.

Like I just learned a few days ago that my best friend is getting married. And I gotta say that after having a pretty shit-tastic last couple a years she really deserves to have something this positive coming her way. Again, cycles. We're already tits deep in Bachelorette Party negotiations, seeming unable to sway one of her fellow co-workers away of the tired out traditional beer-and-male-strippers routine. For one, the bride (as well as myself) are not big drinkers. Plus we both think male strippers are hella cheesy. It may wind up coming down to me kidnapping the bride on some random unspecific day, fill the back seat of my car with coffee and donuts, and hit every comic book store from here to Richmond until the trunk of my car is so stuffed full 'o funny books they'll be sparks a-flyin' off my bumper as it drags the interstate to bring our happy asses home again. Hey, as far as we're concerned we're still maintaining tradition. Albeit ours, naturally.

Then I got a firm thwak in the fanny from my Good Luck Fairy this afternoon as well.

Drum roll, please...

Ahem. {{taps microphone}}

I have just been made a full time employee at my record store. With a 13% raise, and all the benefits that come with.

Bloody hell, people. Do you know how loooong...? {{shakes head}} Okay, okay. Two... two and a half years I've been trying to move up in that company. And my boss came through for me today. Apparently she pitched me to the regional manager, who suddenly remembered me from the Fall Out Boy show we worked together and said something probably like "Oh, that girl. Yeah okay. Put her on." And that's it. That's probably all it took. Well no, I'm sure the boss had to pitch me harder than that, but she really does seem to believe in me, and from everything she told me about myself this afternoon I can't help but be absurdly flattered. Now I just hope I can live up to her expectations.

Oh yes, and health insurance. There's $700 a month don't have to fork over to Anthem any longer. Oh, I can't tell you what a strain that won't be for me from here on out. Now they'll just take it straight out of my paycheck. {{gulp}}

Speaking of work, a fellow associate gave me a gift bag. With soap.

A few weeks ago the same associate brought in a bottle of this weird foamy hand soap called Tone and put it in the women's bathroom at work, and one day I asked her where she bought the stuff because whatever the heck it was, the Water Lily & Sugar Cane scented gook, smelled so good that I was washing my hands all the way up to my armpits and walking around work inhaling myself, comically shoving my paws up into my face and snorting loudly to the amusement of my co-workers. Welp, she surprised me with two bottles of it, and a big bottle of Tone Water Lily & Sugar Cane body wash as well. The reason? She had secretly heard about my current grieving state and just wanted to do something nice for me.

Cycles, mes amis. Your turn is coming next.


Anonymous Erinita said...

Congratufuckinlations!!! No one deserves this more.

5:09 PM  
Blogger Melissa said...

Thank you, sweets. Man, I'm still in shock.

Even more shocking... I get a 401K again!

6:43 PM  
Blogger Anita said...

Tone just isn't marketed that well. You see it in stores, but its not advertised that much. Apparently its target demo is african american women. But I'm sure the white folk'll like it too if it was advertised more.

10:53 PM  
Blogger Melissa said...

Man, african-americans get all the good schtuff.

The body wash sure lingers, tho. Like, allll day.

12:06 AM  
Anonymous wemblee said...


I'm so proud of you. {{{{ }}}}}

2:41 AM  

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