Wilhelm Scream
You know that feeling one gets, where they live with something long enough to think it's not really as bad as you think it is, and then when you step away from it for a little while you come back to it and discover that it really wasn't as bad as you thought, but actually worse?
I had a moment similar to this revelation this week when I walked back into my store Monday after being on vacation for a week and seeing just how... how sad it all is. How disorganized and disconnected everything is since we lost Nilda a few weeks ago (who left to take care of her sick mother in Florida), and how apathetic everyone truly appears during this disjointed bossless limbo we're temporarily experiencing. And then I learn that a portion of the staff are in the works to leave themselves. Even old veterans of the store before I came along. Everyone looks lost. Unhappy. Like they believe it to be the end. As in, The End. Of the store. Of the whole flippin' brick-n-mortar industry. Of something, but I don't know what.
And for the first time in a dreadfully long time, I got swept up in the hive mind and became just as depressed and apathetic as everyone else around me. Because it suddenly felt overwhelming to me as well, knowing that Tracy will be leaving and maybe Stacy and Mary and who knows who else at this point. Kevin is still out on extended sick leave and I feel like I need him here more than I ever did, to help ground me and remind me again of that perservering ability to adapt and change, the way I always have, the way I've always been proud of being. Kevin and I are old vets at this. We've worked together since the Music Man years back in the 80's and we've always taken every vertiginous turn of the industry with a shrug and a "that's how it goes." I don't want to call him while he's home recuperating from his back operation and bother him with work-related drama. But damn if I couldn't use his grounding presence right now at the store, reminding me that this too, should just be shrugged off as well. That we'll both perservere. That this is how it goes.
Boy, I'm being optimistic, considering that Joe's own store is closing down this month and he'll be clean out of a job himself. I'm much more optimistic about his situation than mine, for some reason, I guess because I know what he's capable of and what he can accomplish in just about any given situation. I'm strong, I'm resilient. I got about average smarts and a terrific work ethic. But aside from knowing who the Bonzo Dog Band are I really don't have much else to contribute to society. We're okay for now. But from here on out, it's a bit of a free fall.
Go ahead and say it then, Fred: I need another job.
I had a moment similar to this revelation this week when I walked back into my store Monday after being on vacation for a week and seeing just how... how sad it all is. How disorganized and disconnected everything is since we lost Nilda a few weeks ago (who left to take care of her sick mother in Florida), and how apathetic everyone truly appears during this disjointed bossless limbo we're temporarily experiencing. And then I learn that a portion of the staff are in the works to leave themselves. Even old veterans of the store before I came along. Everyone looks lost. Unhappy. Like they believe it to be the end. As in, The End. Of the store. Of the whole flippin' brick-n-mortar industry. Of something, but I don't know what.
And for the first time in a dreadfully long time, I got swept up in the hive mind and became just as depressed and apathetic as everyone else around me. Because it suddenly felt overwhelming to me as well, knowing that Tracy will be leaving and maybe Stacy and Mary and who knows who else at this point. Kevin is still out on extended sick leave and I feel like I need him here more than I ever did, to help ground me and remind me again of that perservering ability to adapt and change, the way I always have, the way I've always been proud of being. Kevin and I are old vets at this. We've worked together since the Music Man years back in the 80's and we've always taken every vertiginous turn of the industry with a shrug and a "that's how it goes." I don't want to call him while he's home recuperating from his back operation and bother him with work-related drama. But damn if I couldn't use his grounding presence right now at the store, reminding me that this too, should just be shrugged off as well. That we'll both perservere. That this is how it goes.
Boy, I'm being optimistic, considering that Joe's own store is closing down this month and he'll be clean out of a job himself. I'm much more optimistic about his situation than mine, for some reason, I guess because I know what he's capable of and what he can accomplish in just about any given situation. I'm strong, I'm resilient. I got about average smarts and a terrific work ethic. But aside from knowing who the Bonzo Dog Band are I really don't have much else to contribute to society. We're okay for now. But from here on out, it's a bit of a free fall.
Go ahead and say it then, Fred: I need another job.
posted by Melissa at 10:41 PM
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