Monster Mash-Ups

Anybody old enough to remember when Basil Wolverton's Ugly Stickers were made into puffy stickers called "Monstickers" or something like that from Topps card company back in 1979? I had my paper Trapper covered front, back, inside and out with those little buggers when I was in 6th grade. I'd race to 7-Eleven every day after school to buy new packs and dig through them for new names and monsters, and some days my dad would return home from work when he went out of town with dozens of packs for me to root through, thinking that maybe they sold different ones in different states or parts of the country. And I remember Ricky Roberson stealing a few from inside my Trapper when I let him look at them on the bus ride to school. Creep. I Don't know why I let that little punk-ass juvie "go steady" with me for three weeks.

I seem to remember there was a "Melissa" monster but I don't remember what she looked like. I sort of recall someone with really, really bad skin. I think. If anyone finds one of those online anywhere I'd love you to pieces, because I haven't had a lick 'o luck so far.

Another thing I remember about 6th grade -- during lunch hour we were allowed to play records in the cafeteria while we ate. Some kid was our official designated DJ and he'd sit up on the stage at the front of the dining hall and play whatever was hot in 1979/1980. "Celebration" by Kool & the Gang. "Whip It" by Devo. But boy did those kids really hate Carly Simon's "Jesse". Whenever those first few words of the song, "Oooooh, mother say a prayer for me..." floated into our ears the entire cafeteria would erupt into an cacophony of boos and a massive shower of cookies and little milk cartons would suddenly descend upon the stage, pelting the poor DJ who obviously must have loved the song enough to endure this experience nearly every day. Either that or he wasn't very deft at picking up on subtle hints. What's worse was that I actually liked the song myself so I learned to keep my yap shut. And I still like it, so you can keep yer cookies 'n milk ya buncha poopypants.