Speak In Secret Alphabets

Oh yeah, The Time show Friday night at the 5th Street Stage down on the beach. As out of it and monstrously depressed as I was, I still managed to lug my bedraggled ass down to the oceanfront on a busy, touristy Labor day weekend evening, thinking I was going to be late for the show, but actually just in time to catch opening act En Vogue, who did a short set of pretty much every hit they had. And if you dig En Vogue (and lipsynching, which I guess they were but I might be wrong) I guess it was, well, what it was. Some hot middle-aged chicks in sequins dodging seagull poop in synchronicity.

And a "jumbotron", just to remind us which chick was singing what, and when. And then let us, the audience, decide whether or not it even mattered. (answer: it didn't)

What did matter, apparently, was that the event sold beer. Or at least some schmuck was, down by the water's edge. I don't know why the "Beer Here" flag high over the crowd's heads amused me so. I guess as the sun was setting I felt I needed to get as many pictures as I could before was no longer available to me.

And yaa... can you see? NOPE! Not that it matters anyway, because right after the En Vogue set finished, and Joe and I were all hyped for The Time, flipping BELL BIV DEVOE hit the bleedin' stage! Guuhhhh... whadda surprise -- and whadda letdown! The last sentence I expected to hear from anyone that night was "WHOOOO THIS SONG IS OFF OUR HOOTIE MACK ALBUM!" Not much to see, really, except for Biven's electric-white Good Humor Man suit... or wast it DeVoe? Or Bell? Maybe Johnny Gill slipped out there without our knowledge, looking for a gig that will have him. Errrr... Ralph Tresvant?

The worst photos of The Time ever taken!! WHEEEE!! Luckily you don't have to see them, so I picked the best, ahem, 'jumbotron" shot of Morris Day, who asked the audience if they liked his pimp!suit. "I'm glad you do, cuz you folks just bought it!"

Overall it was a short set, with such greats as "Cool", "The Walk", "Gigolos Get Lonely Too", a few Morris solo tracks like "Oak Tree", and of course "The Bird" and "Jungle Love". And the band was tight, and, you know, they were owwn it as only The Time can be... but I think Joe was too tired from work and I was too weepy from the events of the day to really allow myself to enjoy it to the fullest extent. Plus En Vogue and Bell Biv DeVoe can really suck the soul

outta ya, which is probably the opposite effect that they were going for but damn these one-hit wonder track-acts never did much for me. I go see The Time because they were famed for their live performances, and then they zap the crowds' energy (well, mine really) with limp studio concoctions that so obviously look and feel out of place in a live situation. But once the show was over and the fireworks display over the ocean kicked in I was definitely ready to haul out of there and crawl into bed with as many covers over my throbbin' noggin as I could manage. Maybe in time things will settle down inside me. I can stop crying, stop moping. Sleep better, or get my appetite back. I wish I had the week off. Then again the company did say I could use the rest of my vacation time for this year, what little I have. I'm going to try and make that trip to New York City in October to see The Residents with my friend Paul. I think I need to see a live show where I don't have to dump sand out of my sneakers for a change.