Carl Weathers OWNED The 70's, Bitches!

Thank Yod for kindertrauma. How else would I have ever finally, blindly stumble upon the name of a movie whose trailer has haunted me since childhood, The Bermuda Depths, and the fact that the entire film is on youtube right now as we speak. The night it aired on television back in 1978 I was at a slumber party at the Kight sisters house in Thalia and we were all sprawled out on the floor in front of the telly watching the previews to this film, which was just about to come on, but for some reason we all wound up not watching it which at the time I was partially disappointed, but also monumentally relieved. The trailer has tormented me throughout my life and to this day I never could recall the name of that film, which is odd considering that it had the word "Bermuda" in it, and I was morbidly obsessed with the Bermuda Triangle back during that period in my young life, and obviously just as easily duped. "Bermuda" was synonymous for "Shit goin' dowwwn" in the 70's and I bought it all, hook line and Saturday Night Movie of the Week.

Actually I'm still not sure why we didn't watch the film, because we were getting hyped for the commercials all night, and then we watched the commercial again right before the show began to air -- and I should go ahead and mention the content of the trailer, which described the story of a little boy and girl (who grows up to be Connie Sellecca) and a sea turtle, and you see the children swimming with the turtle and carving something into the turtle's shell (their initials?) on the beach. Then I think the girl (or the boy? I'm pretty sure it was the girl) went to live with the turtle under the sea and the boy grew to a young adult and was out on a boat still searching for his childhood love. The turtle meanwhile has grown to Kraken-like size and power, and the scene that unnerved me the most was the turtle surfacing in slow motion with the boat on its back, all black and slimy and covered in seaweed, and I remember Peggy (one of the Kight sisters, known more for elaborate fibs that I was all too eager to believe) telling me that that was not the turtle... but the girl's enormous sun-blackened, kelp-covered head! Land 'o Goshen, you had NO IDEA how much I wanted to see that movie now!!! Giant sun-blackened, kelp-covered HEADS!!! Sadly I think the girls all wanted to watch Saturday Night Live or go have a seance in the bedroom until Doctor Madblood came on at one in the morning, or something less giant and seaweedy than I anticipated. And although there were plenty of scary moments through the rest of that slumber party (apparently my face turned into some girl's dead grandmother during a seance, and I nearly wet my pants chickening out of playing "Bloody Mary" in the bathroom mirror) I still secretly longed to see The Bermuda Depths with its timeless love story, its adorable sea turtle, and its freakin' ginormous monster Connie Sellecca noggin.

Oddly enough I kind of don't want to watch this on youtube. I really hate watching movies on the computer if I can't help it. I wonder if this ever came out on DVD? It's sure not on Nutflicks, but I guess it could be under another title these days. You know how these things be. Oh well. Youtube it is. Here it goes, chil'ren. Eghads. Somebody hold me... I'm still scared! Heads! Heaaaaaaads.....

EDIT: Hold on to your kelp-hats, I just discovered that this movie was written and produced by Rankin/Bass, of the perennial animated Christmas special machine. Now I'm really scared!