Cue Up The Holy Modal Rounders, Boys...
Welp, after one long summer of fruitless suit-searching, my new bathing suit came in the mail this weekend. And HO-ly Lord.... Okay, pretty much what I feared. The bottom half of the suit looks great, fits perfect, etc. But the so-called "spacious" top section is anything but. Or at least it would be for anybody else who wasn't so cartoonishly top-heavy as I am. I was in the bathroom trying it on and just doubled over with laugher, holding my tummy like a little girl and tears rolling out of my eyes at the vision of my entire upper half spilling out from every side, like Pamela Anderson trying to squeeze into an oven mitt. There is just NO WAY I can leave the house wearing something like this to the gym, let alone the beach or Seabreeze Park without getting hauled away by the indecency brigade (and believe me, where I live, they are out there). But dag nabbit I've waiting all summer to go swimming again and it's already September. Plus what are the chances of me ever finding anything to tether down these puppies at this time of the year? If I could only remember where online I ordered my wicked killer Olympic-style zip-up suit from last year that's now too big for me, because that was just sooo ideal for my situation. Crap. This sucks.
Okay, I seriously considering just throwing a shirt over the top of me when I wear it out. Noooo, no no no NO. Too much potential for disaster. I hate to have to send it back. This was already my last resort. Nuts. Why can't I just take them off and leave them at home when I want?
Anyway, in non-boobie related news (oh, who am I kidding!), this is the first time in several months when I have absolutely no idea what Papa's new movie is going to be or when it's coming out. In our last few conversations he dropped me hints as to new titles and what to expect in some of them, but this is the first time in forever when I am in total and complete suspense. And you know, I kinda like it. I sure do know what I'd like to see, though! (heh heh)
Le sigh.
Okay, I seriously considering just throwing a shirt over the top of me when I wear it out. Noooo, no no no NO. Too much potential for disaster. I hate to have to send it back. This was already my last resort. Nuts. Why can't I just take them off and leave them at home when I want?
Anyway, in non-boobie related news (oh, who am I kidding!), this is the first time in several months when I have absolutely no idea what Papa's new movie is going to be or when it's coming out. In our last few conversations he dropped me hints as to new titles and what to expect in some of them, but this is the first time in forever when I am in total and complete suspense. And you know, I kinda like it. I sure do know what I'd like to see, though! (heh heh)
Le sigh.
posted by Melissa at 9:59 AM
2 Comments:
i have the exact opposite problem. i have no chest. no ass either. sign. do you have target? only place i've ever found that sells the top and bottom separatly so you can get whatever you want (extra small top, small bottom).
funny how such a little piece of fabric can be such a pain in the ass.
-emily
I am actually thinking about going down to the Target by my house. My friend has found bras there my size, so I am hoping that means that maybe they can sell suits with those dimensions as well.
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