Get What's Coming To Me

Ah. It's beginning to look more and more likely that my next promotion is going to occur a little sooner than I anticipated. One of the lead girls is leaving next week, which leaves her position open. And leaves me next in line for the job.

Er, ah. Wow. After nearly 3 years of nuthin', two promotions within two months of each other.

And while this is exactly what I've wanted, what I've busted my tuckus for so hard since Day One at that store, I'm a little ambivalent about getting the job now. Part of me wonders if I'm indeed capable of handling it. Even my boss wasn't so certain I was "manager material". I'm certainly a hard worker and start projects on my own, but she doesn't think I can effectively lead people, which in part she just may be correct. My naturally introverted nature keeps me distant from my co-workers and even my boss, who complains that as much as she loves having me on the team she never has any idea what I'm thinking, because I'm generally so quiet and distant most of the time (not like I even know what I'm thinking half the time anyway), and again she's probably right. I'm trying to take steps to be less shy, more loquacious and outgoing (erk), and not have so much tunnel vision when I'm in full-on work mode all the time. I'm like that when I'm doing just about anything, really, so it's a general issue that I need to work through and I freely admit it.

But what worries me the most is, well... just the overall company politics general. I can't really go into it in detail here in a public forum like this, but let's just say that there are certain, ah, internecine machinations happening behind the scenes that I could easily see myself on the pointy end of if I'm not too careful. Or even if I am careful, which is what really frightens me. Let's just leave it at that.

I really need the promotion, though. More like I need the raise, since I'm already full time and getting benefits. But... oh, God. I just don't know. Can I do this? Eek. Double eek.