Giving "til It Hurts

I know it sounds ridiculous and I doubt it will do a whole heap o' what have ya in the long run, but I have decided to make all my employee focus groups from Louisiana and Mississippi so that when I talk them up to customers I can also push our American Red Cross donation drive at the same time. Yesterday I took down De La Soul and put up The Essential Mahalia Jackson and wrote this on the tag behind it:

New Orleans native Mahalia Jackson still has the greatest voice in gospel music.

Favorite track: "In The Upper Room".

PLEASE GIVE TO THE AMERICAN RED CROSS AT THE REGISTER TODAY!

I've been giving a little everywhere I go as well. Probably half the town's grocery, pharmacy, and participating retail stores will have my name plastered all over their walls with those little cards that say "I Gave!" Cheesy, I know, but there have been less lofty goals to strive for out there (and I've striven(?) for some pretty low ones in my days).

I'm not... feeling right today. This morning I was up chopping up veggies to make a salad for lunch this afternoon, and I think I almost fainted. Twice. I say I think because I have actually never fainted before, but both times I got queasy and dizzy and had to run out of the kitchen and sit in the living room chair for a few minutes. I was wondering if it was the smell of the red onions in the salad getting to me, but I have never reacted that way to onions before. I am sitting here right now drinking tons of water and trying to calm down. Man, that's some scary shit, almost tipping over like that. Weird to have the whole world sort of fall out of focus for a few seconds. Almost reminds me of the time years ago when I was lying on the floor at Outer Limits (an old night club here in town back in 1991) and my friend threw one of those bean bag chairs over my face and sat on it, and I couldn't yell or scream because there was no air in my lungs and I couldn't even wave my hands in distress (although I did try and spell out "I C-A-N-T B-R-E-A-T-H-E" in sign language for somebody to see). The weirdest part was at that moment I remember that I had resigned myself to the fact that I was probably going to die, and I felt... a little frightened, but oddly accepting, although mightily pissed that I was going out in a most ignominious manner. When I vaguely remember the bag lifted from my face I can sort of recall several of my friends' faces hovering over mine, shaking me and screaming, so I don't think I was fully passed out if I could have heard and see all that. Still, the spell I had today brought back memories of that incident but I still can't figure out what might have caused it. Onions? Lack of sleep these days? That damn cricket chirping all night in my living room? Underpants elves?

We are supposed to be getting the edges of Hurricane Ophelia today and tomorrow. Although I doubt we will experience the full brunt of it by any means, if I'm not online for the next few days you might assume that I have lost power. After what happened during Hurricane Isabel (and the cautionary tale of Katrina) I don't think anybody's taking any more chances with these things.