Saturday, January 31, 2009

I Get My Kicks Above The Waistline, Sunshine

My Death Cough is back.

Okay, not in full force comeback. I can still sleep at night, and not wet my pants with every rib-ripping seizure. It's more an irritant than a crippling cough at the moment. I don't need the doctor yet. Hopefully, being as low-key as it is right now, maybe it will stay this route until it's finally run its course. However long that takes.

I guess I shouldn't be disappointed, but I am a little, I confess. I was hoping that my new raw/vegan diet would have the kind of positive effects on my health to where I might be able to say a permanent bye-bye to all my Death Cough issues. This is the one thing I haven't tried yet and I was putting a lot of faith in it to "cure" me, since nothing else I've tried in the last twenty-some odd years has. But I am still new to this lifestyle change, and I can't exactly expect results overnight. Doesn't mean I'm going to stop, however. In fact I feel myself leaning more towards a greater and greater percentage of raw meals each day, and cooked has seriously lost its taste to me -- or not so much the taste but the taste for cooked food, hardly craving it at all right now. I admit I've never tried the holistic route yet. Just Dave told me that he went in for an acupuncture session once last year and he claims it did wonders for his chronic allergies (however psychosomatic that all might have been) which gave him a froggie speaking voice for all the twenty years that I have known him.

Just Dave has also been vegan for years and it has done nothing for his allergies.

Today I have packed a lunch for work, consisting of a raw salad of spinach and romaine, with white onions, green bell peppers, tomatoes, pine nuts, raisins, and (soaked) goji berries, with a salad dressing that I made of raw organic tahini blended with lemon juice, water, and a pinch of salt. Also as a side dish about 4 ounces of raw butternut squash apple soup. And for dessert a bag of Goraw chocolate coconut cookies I bought at the Heritage this afternoon.

I guess sugar-free cough drops don't count, do they? Sigh.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Sweet And Lowdown

The other day as I walking to work I passed a bum on the sidewalk out in front of the store who was soliciting money from pedestrians, claiming to be hungry and wanting to buy some food. When he came to me for some change I offered him my lunch instead -- a box of Ak-Mak crackers and a container of hummus -- but he politely declined the offer. I insisted that it was good, healthy, nourishing food, but he just kept repeating "No, thank you." until I moved on. So throughout the evening at work I was assuming testily that the guy wasn't really hungry and was probably bumming for beer money instead, until a customer came in several hours later and told me that she just gave the guy her leftover doggie-bag from Ruby Tuesday, and he accepted it.

So given the option... or in this case, barely any option whatsoever... a hungry homeless man will turn down glucose-free whole wheat crackers and mashed chickpeas and hold out on the dim hope of somebody dropping a greasy, half-eaten, room-temperature cheeseburger on his lap?

Okay, no need to really answer that. Who wouldn't turn down a cheeseburger over my own brand of glorified parakeet food if their life depended on it? Even though Ruby Tuesday's cheeseburgers are some of the fattiest, greasiest globs of low-grade beef you can get in a chain restaurant outside of fast food. And I gotta admit, even I miss cheeseburgers. I even had two chili dogs this past Sunday at the Royal Rumble so it's not like I have room to talk shit, yo.

I did go exploring at The Heritage this afternoon, buying organic goji berries and more cacao powder (my new favorite high-energy, antioxidant breakfast is a smoothie I make in the blender, with a small bag of frozen organic strawberries, a handful of raw spinach leaves, a heaping tablespoon of cacao powder, and some blue agave nectar to taste... yum!) and delving into the deli section with some of their prepared lunches that they make every morning, especially the raw wraps and burritos (vegan and gluten-free) which really helps freshen up the boredom of green salads every day. Expensive as hell ($6.99 for a small raw wrap and burrito each!) but worth it every now and then to switch up on my digestive system. This may be way too much information, but uh, let's just say that with all the lettuce and spinach in my diet these days, I feel like a damn leaf-blower every time I take a deuce. Makes me kinda wonder if any of the lettuce is getting digested at all, if it's coming back out of me in dry shreds. So I'm blending more green smoothies to get them down to a more manageable, molecular level (spinach with fresh mango and banana is good too, with a pinch of raw ginger, but make sure it's just a very small twig of ginger because it can certainly overwhelm a smoothie to the point of burning a hole in your esophagus, and you don't want that).
I also bought some Ezekiel bread at the Farm Fresh across the street last night, since I've heard good things from some people... and uh, not so good from others. Ezekiel bread is bread baked in the Biblical way, according to Ezekiel 4:9 ("Take also unto thee wheat, and barley, and beans, and lentils, and millet, and spelt, and put them in one vessel, and make bread of it...") and turns out the combination, meant specifically for starving people in the deserts of the Middle East at the time, is incredibly rich in protein as well as very low in fat. I bought the "cinnamon and raisin" kind, which I'm pretty sure goes against God's Plan and all, but I figured it would be the easiest way to transition into something new with a touch of the something familiar. Turns out it's not bad at all. A little dry, but a thousand times better than the brown rice bread I had a few weeks ago. With a little spread, like maybe almond butter, or with my veggie burgers might be worth an experiment or two.
Gotta stay on the ball this week. Going to my first doctor's visit in over a year this Wednesday. Wanna see how low my blood sugar is these days since my vegan/raw change. Plus I might be going to a lavish Superbowl party this weekend, where I will be encouraged to indulge in All That Is Wrong. At least my trousers are loose enough these days to allow for such intermittent joys of the flesh. ;)

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Lucky Boys Confusion

Last night's Audio Junk is available... NOW! No wait, NOW!!! Chock fulla Prince, Alison Moyet, Bomb20, Chris Morris, The Future Sounds Of London, and samples from Thieves Highway, Murder My Sweet, Generation Kill, Student Bodies, and more. Don't forget Audio Junk can be caught live every Tuesday night at 8pm EST on online, that is!

Tuesday, January 27, 2009


Wed 28: 9-5
Thur 29: 4-cl
Sat 31: 5-cl
Mon 2: 4-cl
Tue 3: 5-cl
Thur 5: 5-cl
Fri 6: 9-5
Sat 7: 9-5

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Use! His! Leg! Use! His! Leg!

First 20 tracks on my iTunes just coming back from seeing The Wrestler with Joe, Mike, Al, and Dave, right before I have to go back out again to Baker Street to meet up with everyone for the Royal Rumble pay-per-view (wow, too much rasslin' in one day).
1. "Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me" - U2
2. "No Harsh Feelings" - Dragstrip 77
3. "Rifle Eyes" - Cloudead
4. "Tempted" - Squeeze
5. "Hazy Shade Of Criminal" - Public Enemy
6. "40" - U2
7. "She Ain't Hooked On Me No More" - Merle Haggard
8. "Thong Song" - Sisqo
9. "Sick River" - Kepone
10. "Fattaliku Dëmb" - Cheikh
11. "Defiant" - Wipers
12. "Ca Plane Por Moi" - Plastic Bertrand
13. "7 & 7 Is" - Love
14. "17" - Ladytron
15. "Clarence In Wonderland" - Kevin Ayers
16. "Home I'll Never Be" - Tom Waits
17. "Painted From A Memory" - Elvis Costello w/Burt Bacharach
18. "Three Point Throwing Star" - Milemarker
19. "Automatic" - Zeke
20. "A Thousand Miles From Nowhere" - Dwight Yoakam

Saturday, January 24, 2009

A Fool And Her Money, Sonny!

God, how I love shopping at The Heritage. I always have, but now that I'm eating about 70% raw vegan I feel like I could spend hours there, maxing out my credit card. Even though all I bought last night was Alba facial cleanser, raw tahini, yerba maté, organic mangoes, and a bag of cacao powder, which I am trying out to see if it will be a safer, healthier, and more important chocolaty pick-me-up to my deadly quadruple espressos I intake about three days a week. More on that later.

It's a shame it's about a 20-minute drive down by the ocean, and traffic/parking is a nightmare. There really is no other health food source close to where I live. Whole Foods is in downtown Norfolk (another parking catastrophe) and Trader Joe's is all the way out on the peninsula. The Farm Fresh across the street from my house has about two half-aisles of "organic" while the one down by my work has a whopping three half-aisles. Fresh World around the corner is great for a wider variety of produce, cheaper than Farm Fresh as well. But alas, for my one-stop organic/raw shopping needs I need to go a good 20-30 drive in either direction out of my way for the slightly more esoteric items, like agave syrup or even something as simple as raw coconut oil. Maybe I'm spoiled, having a grocery store I can run across the street to whenever I'm out of one little thing. I need to live how the rest of the world lives. By their inante hunting instincts! Hunting and gathering! Foraging! And here I used to make fun of Alvin the vegetarian with all the lame "eats shoots and leaves" jokes.

I did learn today at work that cacao powder doesn't dissolve well in cold almond milk. It floats on the surface dry as a bone, and boy does it get everywhere. But I found if I stirred it a lot until the milk started turning chocolate-hued, then scooped up the excess powder off the surface with a spoon and threw it away, it made a rather tasty cold chocolate milk (I put one small packet of Stevia in it but I think the almond milk already sweetens it pretty decently). I did discover that the powder appears to be very water soluble when I rinsed the gook out of my mug and spoon in the sink, so I think I'm going to make water-based hot chocolate next time and see how that pans out. Not that I'm really craving chocolate that much anymore, but I have been reading up on cacao a lot lately as a "superfood" supplement and how it energizes you without the caffeine crash or addictive properties of coffee. Funny enough, since I don't eat sugar anymore I don't really feel the need for anything to force me awake anymore. Still, if I can get a freaky buzz off of cacao powder every now and again it'll be just like old times at the First Colony cafe with the gals back in Ghent fifteen years ago. Woot-woot! *snorting line of cacao*

I Am SO There!


Live at the Jewish Mother
Friday, March 6th @ 9pm


Friday, January 23, 2009

I WIsh There Was More To Say...

RIP Sam from Wherehouse Music in Norfolk, VA.

You were a wonderful man, and I loved working with you. So did a lot of us.

Peace. xxx

Thursday, January 22, 2009


Fri 23: 4-cl
Sat 24: 9-4
Mon 26: 4-cl
Tue 27: 4-cl
Wed 28: 9-5
Thur 29: 4-cl
Sat 31: 5-cl

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Nursery Rhyme Breather

Wouldn't ya know it. Soon as I book my flight for Austin on the week of February 20th, I see this this over at the Circus Theatricals website for the same time period:

Ahh, Jack. Jack Jack Jack JackJackJack Jaaaack. I haven't seen you perform since The Misanthrope back in.... oh, when was that again? 2005? And Macbeth the year before? And now you are tempting me west yet again knowing my love of Shakespeare? Ah, Jack... thou foul, foul incubus. But he will be getting no lean and hungry looks from me in the audience this time, because as much as I miss him dearly, I'm monumentally stoked to to be going to Austin. To meet Joe's sister, and to hang with Randy and Lizzie, who are already collectively wetting themselves with excitement to show us around their hipster domain. Sorry Jack, my enticing stage siren... when you finally star in Oh, Calcutta! I'll be on the next jet out, I promise. :)

Feeling better today. Sore all over, but the good news is I'll live. Calling out sick yesterday at least gave me an opportunity to lay around and do diddly-squat. And catch up with a movie that I haven't seen since I was about thirteen years old...

I remember it was around the summer of 1983, more or less, and I had just gotten cable put into our house and being the first person on my street to have cable my friends were always over to marvel at this amazing concept of seeing R-rated movies in the middle of the day (well back then, you could see R-rated movies at all hours of the day, unlike now). When the opening credits to Student Bodies appeared on the screen on HBO my friends and I squealed with delight at the prospect of watching a horror movie during the lunch hour, especially one that we had never seen or heard of before. Little did any of us know that Student Bodies was actually a PG-rated horror movie spoof from 1981, allegedly the first of its kind, predating Scream and all those other silly parodies and ironic send-ups that are popular with the kids these days. But we had no idea going into this thing, which made our discovery far more memorable. And hilarious.

Here is the first seven minutes of the movie, to give you an idea of what my friends and I, ranging from fourteen to eleven, witnessed as the film unspooled before us. Expecting sheer horror, and perhaps a little gore, we were quietly perplexed by the weirdness of the first minute or so, with the "Halloween/Friday The 13th/Jamie Lee Curtis' Birthday" date flashing below the screen, the Breather (allegedly comedian Richard Belzer under another name) peeking through a mail slot on an all-glass door to look into the house, and how we burst out laughing during the conversation with the Breather and the babysitter on the telephone ("I SAID, *pantpantpant*"). When the words "Unlocked" flash over the doorknob I remember my friend Jeanne saying "What is this, Sesame Street?" But what floored us all was the part (at the end of this clip) where the Breather is looking through his cache of murder weapons, and all of us were shouting out which one we thought he should use ("Go for the knife! No, the hatchet! No, no use the rope!") but when he picks up the paper clip we all cry out at once, "THE PAPER CLIP???!!!" and dissolved into an eruption of uncontrollable hysterics. From that moment on, we didn't care about horror and gore. We were along for the ride. They had us at "paper clip".

Seeing it now, after so many years (and several video rentals shortly after the first viewing during the first initial year) it was amazing not only how much I remembered, but how much of the gags and dialogue I had retained but couldn't place for years, quoting lines and wondering where I had first heard it, only to discover that they had all come from this one movie. Reliving it all again, I was delighted. Just like old times. One of my favorite "Alan Smithee" films of all time, hands down.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Taking It Down A Notch

A little bit of a glitch in tonight's Audio Junk, where our computer crashed right at 8pm and we couldn't get back on for a spell... but Joe managed to get a bit of show in and you can hear it here, featuring cuts from G.C. Cameron, Fear Factory, Voltron , Die Krupps, Carl Carlton, Grotus, Dead or Alive, Suicide Machines, King Corn, Burt Reynolds country and so much more.When things are running smoothly, Audio Junk can be heard live every Tuesday night from 8pm to 11pm on

I've been sick all last night and today, with a virus, I suppose. Whatever it is that gives you fever, chills, agonizing back pain and intermittent vomit launching. Last I checked my fever was down 99.6 and I can actually hold down a little food so I'm hoping I'm making a turn about now. I actually craved sweets today, and as bad as it was for me in my delicate situation I persuaded Joe to drive me down to the local bakery to get some of their amazing homemade strawberry cupcakes. Although after one I couldn't bear to eat anymore and I tossed them out in digust. Maybe it's the sickness, but it's funny how my diet has made me reject refined sugars like that, no matter how tasty they really were. All I wanted was more papaya, and my mangoes aren't fully ripe yet. I crave juicy fruits, something easy to digest and keep me hydrated. And cool.

Damn, my skin is so hot.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Austin Powers

I realize I probably have no room to complain when the rest of the country is freezing its huevos off and it's a mere 17 degrees here at the beach in comparison, but dayum it's cold as a bitch out there. I spent my weekend off tucked away into my hobbit hole, moisturizing like a crazy lady since this time of year makes my hands crack like crocodile scales and bleed from the dryness at work, where we usually don hats and gloves and thermal underwear while walking the sales floor. Not to mention my fruit and veggie diet has not allowed for a lot of fats to keep my skin and hair moisturized like they used to be, although I sure indulged in some avos and olive oils big time this weekend (dude sumtimes a gal needz teh comfert fude). So yes, it snowed a few minutes today, and now it's just raining. But they're calling for real snow tomorrow, the kind that might stick. And my downstairs feels about as icy as outside so I spend most of my time upstairs, either on the computer or flopped down on the bed, watching the 52" flat screen TV I got for Christmas, recently mounted on my wall. Actually it was my father's, but he "re-gifted" it to me, and quite frankly I'm not complaining (for a change!).

One place that's bound to be considerably warmer this time of year is Austin, Texas, where I just purchased my tickets with Joe to visit for the first time on the week of my 40th birthday in February. Randy and Lizzie already live there so it will be wonderful to see them again, but the real reason we chose Austin this year is because that's where Joe's half-sister, the one he had no idea he had until last summer, grew up and still lives. At least we're pretty sure that they're siblings, since their stories match about their shared father, who was married to their respective mothers (his in the 1960's and hers in the 1970's) and divorced them when she and Joe were too young to remember him in their lives. Anyway, we're finally getting to meet her and her family, and I'm quite excited (I guess Joe is too). I have a sister-in-law! Well, sort of. Sister-in-common-law I suppose. But anyway, AUSTIN FLIPPIN' TEXAS! One of the hottest music scenes in the United States! Oh, how I wish I were still in my 20's again. But no, alas, I'll be flying in on my 40th birthday. Forty as in, y'know, forty. Good heavens. Did I ever actually turn 39 at some point in my life?

Anyone know a good website for finding events in various cities? I'm turning up bupkis on the web search, but then again maybe it's too early for the second to last week of February. Maybe even a raw food restaurant I can try? Okay, that's a bit too overboard. I'm freakin' eating cake on my birthday dammit. And if it's carrot cake, them bitches are gonna be over 118 degrees, fo' 'sho.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Perfect Weather For A Streamlined World

First 20 tracks on my iTunes enjoying my nerdy series of G-rated screen captures of my favorite porn star Steve Holmes kissing... and only kissing, a series of lovely young ladies (I sweat to God, I did not select these song titles on purpose for this photo theme!)

1. "Infidelity Groove" - Bigod20
2. "The Humpty Dance" - Digital Underground
3. "Institutionalized" - Suicidal Tendencies
4. "Too Much Monkey Business" - Chuck Berry
5. "Smiling Faces Sometimes" - Undisputed Truth

6. "In Spite Of Me" - Morphine
7. "I Need More Love" - Robert Randolph &The Family Band
8. "Bad News" - The Trashmen
9. "Celebrated Summer" - Hüsker
10. "No Return" - John McLaughlin
11. "The Legend Of Bonnie & Clyde" - Merle Haggard
12. "Niene gehts so schon und luschtig" - Basel Jodel Chorli
13. "Paralyzer" - Finger Eleven
14. "The Return Of Jackie & Judy" - Tom Waits
15. "Mass" - Candiria
16. "Predictable" - Avail
17. "(You Make Me Feel Like A) Natural Woman" - Aretha Franklin
18. "All Right Now" - Free
19. "Aqua Boogie ((A Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop)" - Parliament
20. "I Wish I Had A Date" - Fishbone

Up The Coast Of Idaho

Ernie y Bert drops some mad science on ya.

Thanks to Anita for the link.

Friday, January 16, 2009


Alright, next time not so many fatty avocados and olive oil for dinner after fruit-fasting all day.

Oye, me gut.

Splenda Studies In Health News

Copied from an article over at

MINNEAPOLIS, Sept. 22, 2008 (GLOBE NEWSWIRE) -- James Turner, chairman of the national consumer education group Citizens for Health expressed shock and outrage after reading a new report from scientists at Duke University. "The report makes it clear that the artificial sweetener Splenda and its key component sucralose pose a threat to the people who consume the product. Hundreds of consumers have complained to us about side effects from using Splenda and this study, published this past week in the Journal of Toxicology and Environmental Health Part A, confirms that the chemicals in the little yellow package should carry a big red warning label," said Turner.

Among the results in the study by Drs. Mohamed B. Abou-Donia, Eman M. El-Masry, Ali A. Abdel-Rahman, Roger E. McLendon and Susan S. Schiffman is evidence that, in the animals studied, Splenda reduces the amount of good bacteria in the intestines by 50%, increases the pH level in the intestines, contributes to increases in body weight and affects the P-glycoprotein (P-gp) in the body in such a way that crucial health-related drugs could be rejected. Turner noted that the P-gp effect "could result in crucial medications used in chemotherapy for cancer patients, AIDS treatment and drugs for heart conditions being shunted back into the intestines rather than being absorbed by the body as intended."

The study was conducted using male rats over a period of twelve weeks. The manufacturers of Splenda also used a rat study when they applied for and received approval to market the product from the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. At the time, the findings from their rat studies were extrapolated as to possible effects on humans. This is standard FDA practice and this study is consistent with that practice.

Turner said, "This report followed accepted policies and procedures and the results make clear the potential for disturbing side effects from the ingestion of Splenda. It is like putting a pesticide in your body. And this is at levels of intake erroneously approved by the Food and Drug Administration. A person eating two slices of cake and drinking two cups of coffee containing Splenda would ingest enough sucralose to affect the P-glycoprotein, while consuming just seven little Splenda packages reduces good bacteria." Although the effect of consuming Splenda does not result from a one time use, the side effects do occur after accumulated use. Turner also noted unmistakable evidence that Splenda is absorbed by fat, contrary to the claims of Johnson & Johnson.


The more I read about Splenda, the more and more my Stevia is starting to taste good to me every day.

Actually it's not bad. It just takes a little getting used to, and I didn't think I'd be able to wean myself off the Splenda kick but in the two cups of coffee I have had this week (down to two, which is a milestone in and of itself) I've had just two packets of SweetLeaf in each and it was pretty darn good, I must say. Probably the real reason I'm adapting is that as my body is detoxing I've lost my craving for sugars in general, unless it's fruit sugar, which is the good sugar and always a good thing to crave. And honestly, getting off coffee in general is easier as well, since eliminating sugar from my diet again has made it unnecessary to drink coffee to keep me awake at work, since all it really did anyway was make me jittery and edgy and pissed at the world (my customers will love me again, wheee!).

Breakfast: A half of a giant yellow papaya.

Lunch: A small banana and about 3 handfuls of blueberries.

Snack: About five sips of my "ghetto americano" (a Starbucks Cafe Americano filled halfway in a venti cup, then filled to the brim with non-fat milk and 2 SweetLeafs)

Dinner: 4 small Dr. Praeger's California Veggie Burgers with no bun or condiments, grilled with olive oil and garlic, and two avocados on the side (fats ahoy, baby!)

This has been similar to what I've been eating for the past month or so, with at least two raw meals a day, breakfast always being fruit although I typically try to eat something raw and leafy green for lunch, like a salad, a bag of spinach, or something veggie. And dinner is sometimes a cooked meal, like whole grain pasta or a delicious baked spaghetti squash or, in this case, veggie burgers. I do get a little overboard with the olive oils, I admit, and I try to limit my avocados to twice a week, at least. But if I'm getting my fats from good sources like avos, cold pressed olive oils, and seeds and nuts (and eat them sparingly, with maybe one meal a day) then I don't think I'm doing too much harm to myself at this early stage, since I needs some fats in my diet for all the reasons we human beings need bright eyes and shiny coats (and a cold nose, which due to the weather I've had all damn day). Next I need to start bringing almond milk to work for my coffee, and phase out my addiction to parmesan cheese on my pasta. That's about all the dairy I ever have these days, and I feel just ducky. I said DUCKY, bitches!!

So again, my friends, steer clear of the Splenda. And the Equal, and all artificial sweeteners. As bad as refined sugar is for you, a little real sugar here and there is far better for you than the goop they put in diet sodas and pink/blue/yellow packets. Take good care of yo'selves, mah peeps!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009


Thur 15: 5-cl
Fri 16: 9-5
Mon 19: 3-cl
Tue 20: 2-cl
Thur 22: 4-cl
Fri 23: 4-cl
Sat 24: 9-4

Enjoy The Violence

Audio Junk, the chop shop 'o sound, is up and ready to download for this week, featuring tunes and samples from Prince, The Family Tree, G.B.H., 30 Days Of Night, Nip/Tuck, Deodato, and Sonny Boy Williamson. Audio Junk gets live and crunk every Tuesday night at 8PM EST on Random Radio Online Dot Net, suckas. Git your wild thang own.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Pointy Pointy

I bought my first durian this week! Finally, after nearly a year of searching the area's local Asian markets to no avail, the newly opened Fresh World that sprouted around the corner from my house had the King Of Fruits sitting right out in front of the produce section as if they knew that we had a pre-destined date with fate. I ganked the picture above from a raw foods blog since my camera is MIA, but my durian looked a lot like that one when I bought it. I failed to do the "durian test" and shake it before buying to see if it was ripe, which would make a sloshing sound if it was ready to be eaten. Mine made no sound whatsoever, which would often indicate either not ripe or waterlogged. However, I kept the whole fruit in the freezer for a few days before I decided to tackle it, and I gotta tell ya, I was durn intimidated. This puppy was the size of my noggin, and I have heard the thing's stink to high heaven, which is why I kept it in the freezer in case it started to open on its own and permeate the entire house with what I have read to be a combination of pig feces and sewage. Joe would have kittens if he came home to that stench, delicate olfactory reactions that he has. Not that I want that either.

So after it thawed a few hours I took it into the back yard and set it on the patio table, with a Ziplock bag and a long, sharp knife. Stabbing downward into the pointy husky and pulling downward, I was braced for the foul miasma I expected to come wafting out once I got my fingers in there and pryed it open (I only wish it looked as clean and even as the photo does above). But to my surprise there really wasn't anything to smell, aside from a vague, outdoorsy scent that reminded me at that moment of wet, rotting pine cones. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that the durian had not completely thawed yet, because the custard pulp inside was still partially frozen, but as I scooped it out of each pod with my hands to place into the Ziplock bag I licked my frozen fingers, letting them thaw in my mouth, and going "Ooooooh... myyyy..."

It's a hard taste to describe. The texture is like custard, with a thicker, more taffy-like consistency closer to the seed, white-ish yellow with a sort of milky almond flavor and very sweet. I was still really surprised that I didn't smell anything specific. But after cleaning out the fruit I placed the pulp in the freezer to give it a more ice cream-like texture, and later I did sense something... what I couldn't quite place my finger. Joe nailed it: Kitty litter. He said the gritty, frozen texture of the fruit smelled and therefore tasted what he imagined kitty litter would smell and taste. And he was right! (this is why signs like the one above are found in Asian airports along with no smoking, etc) I recommend the fruit in its unfrozen form more than frozen, where its soft creaminess and subtle flavor go down a touch easier. Other than that and the rather off-putting TidyCat aroma I'm willing to try the experience again. But this is what has been exciting about this raw food experiment. Just next time I'm not getting a durian the size of my left tit.


Sun 11: 11-5
Mon 12: 5-cl
Wed 14: 10-5
Thur 15: 5-cl
Fri 16: 9-5

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Stop Dying, People I Like!

WTF, bitches? Is 2009 trying to give me a heart attack already? First Ron Asheton dies this week and now Ray Dennis Steckler? One of the things I meant to do on my last trip to Las Vegas was visit Steckler's video store and see if the man was working behind the counter that

day. Then again Steckler was, well, kinda up there in age. Guy had a long life and all that. Asheton was only 60... well okay, Steckler was only ten years older than Asheton but still, I'm not used to thinking of 60 as old anymore. I remember the first time I heard "Shake Appeal" off the Stooges Raw Power album back in college and it sounded like the hardest thing I had ever heard up to that point in my life. And I just realized that I think I either lost or had my CD copy of Fun House stolen years ago and never replaced it (I have the first Stooges album and Raw Power on vinyl). I seriously, seriously need to remedy that this week.

And I think I need to watch Rat Pfink A Boo Boo this week as well.


Thursday, January 08, 2009

What's Bred In The Bone

So here it is, the new year and I don't have a damn thing to contribute to this blog right now. Then again most folks know I go through dry spells such as these and things gradually pick up again once I get my proper prolixity back in stride (including using such annoying triple-word score nouns like "prolixity"). Not like anyone's reading anyway. But hey, it's good exercise. And nobody watches me when I exercise in the privacy of my own home, right? Because me in my sweat pants falling off my FitBall, while undoubtedly hilarious to observe, is hardly a reason to tune in to The Melissa Show when my life's many fumbles manifests themselves into the written typed word. Plus I seemed to have recently misplaced my camera, so there goes cute photos of my records and toys for awhile.

Actually a lot's going on. Just nothing I think anybody would care to hear about. Significantly, I've changed my diet to where I think I have finally beaten back the mysterious depression phantom that's haunted me for the last two years. Started out no sugar, then no meat. Then no dairy. Then only fruit, vegetables, and whole grains. And now I'm flirting with a primarily raw food diet, which if anything has helped me rediscover the art of taste, and savoring everything that I put in my mouth with a new relish that I can barely ever recall. I've been religiously reading, which a photographer (and former porn star) that I've been recently corresponding with hipped me to in her own quest to improve her health, and although some of it's a bit hippie-dippy for me and the smugness of their lifestyle wears a trifle thin, I'm gaining ideas and knowledge as well as some nifty recipes. And what I've decided as of now that I'm probably not going to go 100%, but if I make raw part of my core diet every day, then I think that would make a world of difference overall. Maybe one cooked vegetarian meal a day, for instance yesterday I had bananas for breakfast, a spinach salad with avocados, leeks, pine nuts and sunflower seeds topped with squeezed lemon and extra virgin olive oil for lunch (Yikes! Fatty salad!) and for dinner an incredible baked spaghetti squash with raw tomatoes, kalamata olives, leeks, and minced raw garlic and oregano. So if I can keep my overt fats to maybe one meal a day (I have a weakness for putting olive oil and avocados on anything if you'd allow me) and stay away from refined sugars and animal fats, then I think for now I'll be okay. Maybe ween myself off those fats in time and keep it leafy green and juicy fruity when I'm ready to go that route. Oh, and get a blender (my dream machine someday!)

This means that when I go to brunch with the gang on Sundays I can indulge a bit. This past Sunday at Hell's Kitchen I had a veggie omelet with roasted potato slices and tiny blueberry muffins, followed by a sliver of almond cake for dessert, and didn't blow my diet at all. I even had a few handfuls of deadly movie theater popcorn from Joe's bag when we went to go see Milk right after brunch. And I lost weight, I felt great, and I had two plain grilled Gardenburgers with heaps of fresh avocado for dinner at home later that night. My indulgence day, and it truly did feel like an indulgence! Without overdoing anything, really. And have I not mentioned enough how terrific I feel right now? How I haven't had the urge to pass out after a meal in the last two years because of my insulin resistance? How the too-tight trousers I bought a few months ago are now so loose I can even slip them on without unbuttoning them? Can I say again how GREAT I feel?

So I spend a lot of my spare time right now trying to concentrate on my health for the time being. This morning I sat on the edge of my bed, in the dim morning light, and and just felt my body breathing. No wheezing. No overpowering urge to cough. I did stretches (for my bad lower back and chronic knee pain) and mixed up some fresh mango, yellow plantain, and pomegranate seeds for breakfast before I went to work. All this juicy fruit every morning has completely eliminated my craving for sugar of any kind (which is kinda good since I'm having a hard time getting used to Stevia for the moment).

Of course I wish I was losing weight a lot faster, like I did on Weight Watchers. But I do believe that slow change is lasting change, and losing weight isn't about changing your diet; it's about changing the way you live. And I hope that I'm doing that. So far so good, anyway.

I promise to try and get some content back up on here shortly, so you won't be subjected to my health food ramblings for the time being. But I want to thank whoever's reading for hanging in there with me during the ups and downs, and laughing with me (and hopefully at me) while I've been a complete dum-dum in the last few years. Until then it's a nice, chilly night. I'm going to go topless around the house while eating a juicy papaya with a spoon. Mmmmmmm...

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

I Think I Had This Doll Once...

This week's Audio Junk features songs from The Stooges (RIP Ron Asheton), Prince. DJ Vadim, Kepone, Paris, and clips from Generation Kill, Kiss Me Deadly, 30 Days Of Night, and more. Audio Junk airs live every Tuesday night at 8pm EST on Tune in, and jam out wit ya Shazam out!

Sunday, January 04, 2009

All I Need Is Lunch

First 20 tracks on my iTunes sitting here contemplating a 100% raw diet (after, of course, cooking my first ever moorish zucchini salad and holy crap bloody hell mother of God wanting more...)
1. "Downtime" - DJ Z-Trip
2. "Little Miss Prissy" - The Stray Cats
3. "You'll Accompany Me" - Bob Segar & the Silver Bullet Band
4. "I Waited" - The Flip
5. "Can You Get To That" - Funkadelic
6. "Vive Tu Vida Contento" - Willie Colón
7. "Sunday Shouting" - Little Louie Vega & Erick Morello
8. "Nothing Achieving" - The Police
9. "The Lost One" - Mellow
10. "Better Off Dead" - Ice Cube
11. "After The Laughter" - ...And You WIll Know Us By The Trail Of Dead
12. "In And Ought The Western World" - Scritti Politti
13. "Creep (Acoustic)" - Radiohead
14. "9 Milli Bros." - Ghostface Killah
15. "Esengo Ya La Beaute" - Honore Liengo
16. "Lowdown" - Boz Scaggs
17. "Locomotion" - OMD
18. "Alone Again Or" - The Damned
19. "Days of Wild" - Prince
20. "The F-Word" - Cannibal Ox

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Saturday Morning Cartoons

Working all these holidays non-stop while the going's been good at the store has left me a tad ready to drop -- frustrated, exhausted, and blazing headaches -- that this weekend off feels more like a vacation than I would have had if I had Thanksgiving, New Years Eve, and New Years Day off combined. I finally get to start using a few of my gift cards, starting with the one Joe gave me for Books-A-Million (the new one that just opened up around the corner of my house). Exciting , exciting, n'est-ce pas? Yeah no, not really, if you're not a rabid fangrrrl of graphic novels, although I did try to find some vegan and raw food recipe books, but alas. So what did I get?

Rrrrrr uhhh....

An illustrated biography of Isadora Duncan by Sabrina Jones, whose style is somewhat similar to the more refined work from Roberta Gregory (more Winging It than Naughty Bits) but with a lively, kinetic line of her own. Perfect for the subject matter at hand.

Seeing the highly disappointing film version of The Spirit this week only reminded me more how much Will Eisner's art and prose really flesh his characters to life in ways that a hyper-stylized Hollywood adaptation could only dream. To The Heart Of The Storm deals with anti-Semitism spanning the years during two world wars as a new American family tries to assimilate with all the challenges it provides.

And Gasoline, a full length graphic novel by Meat Cake writer and illustrator Dame Darcy that I've been hearing about but always forget about a few minutes later so I have never tried to seek it out until it became the first thing that smacked me in the face on the top shelf of the graphic novel aisle. A group of orphaned witches searching for gasoline pits in a post-apocalyptic world (no, really!), you pretty much don't need to pitch this to me in advance to get me to buy, as anything with Dame Darcy's name on it is bound to be at least eccentrically as well as aesthetically pleasing in some form or fashion. If you like that Victorian dead-eyed doll thing while you're getting you post-apocalyptic groove on.
So yes, I come home grouchy from work every day this week, tired and needing loads of Tylenol and bed rest. But overall, holy cow... since I started this vegetarian diet my attitude and my spirit and just... my body feels so, so clean and so healthy for the first time in the last couple of years. I know, DUH. And I'm getting it. I got it before, but I lost it for awhile. I'm getting it now. Dear sweet big baby Jesus (no not you ODB) please don't let me forget that again.
Okay, you too, ODB.