Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Happy New Year

Despite the noticeable lack of DJ Joe's voice in last night's Audio Junk it is indeed a new episode, pre-programmed and auto-run (while Joe took a holiday break and we watched a documentary on Stax Records). So go ahead then Fred and download Tuesday night's wackiness featuring clips from Tropic Thunder, Ten, Mortal Combat vs. DC Universe (for the Xbox360), plus classic soul, a Kraftwerk cover, tunes from The Egyptian Lover, Air, The Art Of Noise, Grace Jones, and more. Audio Junk is every Tuesday night live at 8PM EST on
Have a happy and safe new years, my gentle reader(s).


Fri 2: 9-4
Mon 5: 5-cl
Tue 6: 10-6:30
Wed 7: 4-cl
Thur 8: 10-6:30
Sat 10: 4-cl

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

And So...

I have a feeling I won't be doing anything tomorrow night for New Years. There's a few gigs in and around town, and a few friends have invited me to attend them with them. But I dunno, wherever I go I'm going to end up having to leave early anyway since I have work in the morning. And Joe won't be home from work until about 10pm himself, and money's hella tight as always this time of year, after Christmas spending, Joe's birthday spending, paying my car taxes, and mortgage all around the same week. Plus I need to start saving money for a possible trip to Austin, Texas on the week of my own birthday in two months. Dang, no wonder I never went to MarsCon with S. and those gang every January. Or Las Vegas. Or pretty much anything involving anything going on in that month.Things gotta change, and I hope that's what next year is all about.

Goals for 2009: New job. New body. More money. More money should go in tandem with new job, I'm hoping, and I've been losing weight slowly but steadily on my new vegetarian/slightly vegan/sugar free diet. Best of all, I don't pass out seven times a day and my stomach doesn't give me hell every time I put something in it. I haven't felt this good in two years, and it has improved my mental state considerably. More than anything, my physical and mental state takes precedence over all things in 2009.

Didn't experience a lot of pop cultural endeavors that were released in this year proper, as I was busy going backwards throughout most of 2008 in films, music, and literature. Probably my favorite movie from this year is The Dark Knight tied with Tropic Thunder, which gives you an idea of how infrequently I went to the theaters in 2008. Same could be said for music, when the only album I liked released in 2008 (that I actually heard) was Seeing Sounds by N.E.R.D. Hands down the best graphic novel for me was The Burma Chronicles by Guy Delisle, although I've become partial to him all throughout the year. Many thanks to Paul for taking me out of my hovel and into that comic book store on St. Marks Place to find it.

In fact, thank you to Paul for that trip to New York. Thank you to Alvin for letting me stay at the cottage in Nags Head. Thank you to Tracy at work for being my rock when I was crashing hard after getting reamed by the company. Thank you to Lloyd for his encouraging and adoring emails. Thank you to my parents for all their help, in ways too numerous to count. Thank you to Joe for always putting up with me. And thank you to dozens of friends who have been there for me. I don't deserve you. You know who you are, and I adore each and every one of you.

I think tomorrow night I'm going outside and look at the moon. They say a bunch of planets are going to be lined up around it all vivid-like. Then maybe a veggie wrap from Tropical Smoothie for dinner, watch Population: 1 that just came in from Netflix, and maybe be in bed at a reasonable hour. I think I like that plan.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Happy Birthday!

Melpster and Da Bear

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Mirror And Water Gazing

Took advantage of my tenuous employment's post-Christmas used bargains to bring home Atlanta-based guitarist Kaki King's 2004 mostly acoustic outing Legs To Make Us Longer. I've been getting into her intricate work lately, although a lot of it has been her live electrical performances on youtube, especially her instrumental stuff. I'm feeling a lot more instrumental these days (I suppose that could be taken in many ways). Lyrics, more than ever before, have been buggin' the beejezus outta me. I don't care if Vladimir Nabokov wrote "Livin' La Vida Loca", sometimes it's all I can do to not cringe my eyeballs out of my sockets when I'm being subjected to someone else's inane patter. Kind of like you people reading this blog! Whoop-whoop!

Oh, speaking of inane patter... mah Chrismus gifts, let me show U them! Ones that don't involve new underpants from mother, that is.

Joe bought me two Hollywood Babylon-ish type of books, to go with the gift card for more books (that man knows me so well), probably because he's seen me picking up and re-reading Kenneth Anger's original Hollywood Babylon recently when I am trying to rock myself to sleep at night. Actually I read it more because of Anger's notoriously witty prose, while Parrish is a little less, um, florid I suppose. But it's interesting, or at least the book of scandals is so far, which is where I am now. Joe is borrowing the book of death to read while things are slow at his job. Look at us, adorable lil' gossipmongers we.

From my parents, a certain travelogue theme begins to take shape (oh who am I kidding, these were all on my Amazon wish list) The Aquariums Of Pyongyang: Ten Years In The North Korean Gulag, the story of Kang Chol-Hwan's harrowing experiences as a child growing up in a North Korean concentration camp. Apparently a book so detailed President George W. Bush and his advisers met with Chol-Hwan in 2005 for his help in understanding the particulars of human rights violations under the regime of Kim Jong-il. Sounds just right for reading immediately after all those lurid Hollywood scandals. Talk about human rights violations.

Plus two graphic novels: A gorgeous hardback, cloth-spine edition of Joe Sacco's classic Palestine, which I have never read before until now. Depicting Sacco's two months spent in the West Bank and Gaza Strip, I've already flipped through the first ten pages and I'm gobsmacked. I love his clean lines and use of black and white (kind of my own style) but his dialogue is ripping good stuff. Witty and heartbreaking at the same time. Who needs Kenneth Anger?

And I can't stop riding that Guy Delisle train (yeah I bet he likes hearing that), especially since I devoured Shenzhen: A Travelogue From China in one sitting on the night of Christmas Day. Delisle seems to recall a lousy time spent in this small, dull, industrial southern city doing what he always does, managing Asian animation studios that are outsourced for French television -- but like his book of North Korea and Burma, he focuses on the little things, like the food, the strange but pleasant people, and the overall exotic ambiance that takes the edge off the culture shock. Another fantastically funny endeavor. This man needs to write and draw about every place he's ever been. If anything, at least just for me (wink wink, toot-toot train a-comin' ;) ).

Also I can't forget I Have Fun Everywhere I Go: Savage Tales Of Pot, Porn, Punk Rock, Pro-Wrestling, Talking Apes, Evil Bosses, Dirty Blues, American Heroes, And The Most Notorious Magazines In The World by former High Times editor Mike Edison. I still can't believe I managed to talk my mother into buying this for me. Then again she has no idea what High Times is and I won't tell her if you won't. Funny enough, this was a recommendation from Lisa "Suckdog" Carver. Isn't it amazing how Myspace brings us all together like that?

Mother also more than comes through finding a vendor who wasn't stocked out of L'Occitane Shea Butter Ultra Moisturizing Fluid, since I've been trying to get it all year to no avail. I have a bit of a weakness for skin cremes and I heard that this stuff was remarkable, but after two days of application this goop is even less absorbent than any of the cheap stuff you get at Bath & Body Works. Feels almost like an invisible face mask, stiffening your skin, and I could even scratch some of it off with a fingernail. It takes hours to absorb, or maybe it just evaporates eventually, I can't tell. It really does feel more like a sunscreen, which in essence it is, and with the 20 SPF I'll probably just save it for when I'm doing more outdoorsy events. But hey, Christmas is for experimentation on another man's dime. Happy Holidays, everyone!

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Airing The Old Gal Out

I kinda wasn't really totally planning on attending tonight's "Not Dead Yet Tour" at the Norva, not exactly up to my full energy potential right after work. Besides, with the exception of one band, most of these former 80's local bands were slightly before my time, mostly from the late 70's/early 80's punk era that I had missed out on since I only turned 18 in 1987. But Rachel came by my work Wednesday and asked if I was going, since she was going to be there taking pictures for the local paper. Then Diane Harrison, whom I haven't seen since the Bayou Boogaloo two summers ago, came by today and asked if I was going, since she was working security night. And when I got home Alvin was already calling me screaming "YOU ARE COMING TONIGHT AREN'T YOU??!!" to which I finally capitulated, threw off some clothes, threw on some more, and carried my draggy ass out to Norfolk to relive my pre-teen years again surrounded by people who were considerably older than me at the time. And well, still are. Lots of sweet old grey heads, but a lot of old friends from the old music scene, including Leonard and Ted, both of whom I only had a chance to hug once before they disappeared into the swarm. But I managed to snap a lot of us from my brunch club. Christ, we see each other enough as it is!

Lots of loud music and shouting over each other as some guy (John, I think, with his back to us) gets David, Anthony (formerly of Antic Hay) and Hunter to giggling (well maybe not Dave). I would just like to point out that I couldn't stop petting Hunter's vest the entire night. And I wasn't even drunk.

Jeff (in the green T-shirt) has been to one of our brunches, so it was nice to see him again. Although he spent the entire night leaning against that railing in that exact same pose looking bored out of his mind. Alvin helps alleviate the monotony.

Mike Connolly was the only person that showed up that night in Mod gear, skinny tie and buttons and all those new wave bells and whistles. As a result his wife Donna and Mike Williams (foreground) appear to pretend they don't know him.

Hunter and Mike W. were about to pose for a lovely photo together until Mike C. ran up and yelled in Mike's ear "I'M THE ONLY ONE TONIGHT THAT'S DRESSED LIKE I BELONG HERE!" which caused them both to break out into laughter at once. Luckily I caught the precious moment as it happened.

Lovely German model Kiki managed to make it into town this week to spend Weihnachten with her mother, who lives nearby. Kiki is quite the famous disc jockey back in Hamburg. She even hosted the German MTV Awards. Al has been quite smitten with her for some time. Al is also about four sheets to the wind in Copenhagen and probably won't even remember this picture come morning.

Yeah... this was pretty much Drunk Al all night shouting over the music, "HEY! HEY YOU! HEY! HEY HEY HEEEEY HEYHEYHEY HEEEEEY C'MERE C'MEREC'MERE'CMEREC'MEEEEEERE... *burp*" to everyone he knew, or thought he knew. Or didn't know. Or the waitress. Or anyone who who looked like they weren't going to finish their beer.

I haven't seen little Pamela Jo in ages! And I had to almost get down on both knees to get in the picture with her. Just like old times!

After the Sex Pistols/Modern Lovers cover band, these guys took the stage. I think they were the X-Raves, or I think that's what Mike Williams told me, and he's probably the only guy old enough to remember. Drunk Al grabbed me and bellowed "IS THAT THE ALARM?? ARE THEY GONNA DO THAT FUCKING '68 GUNS' SHIT?!!" I told him no, it was really The Lords Of The New Church and he busted out laughing. They were actually pretty darn tight, but possessed every possible old glam punk cliche you'd be embarrassed to witness in men pushing 60 years old. Honestly, our group could hardly remember who was on stage at any time. We just kept referring to them as either The Receding Hairlines to The Male Pattern Baldness ("Woo, MPB in da howze!" screams Mike).

You know Drunk Al is drunk when he can't stop kissing Mike. And you know Mike is getting there himself when he stops fighting it so much.

I left shortly after the X-Raves last song, a cover of Jim Carroll's "People Who Died" while old local scensters (including my friend Rose, far right) parades across the back of the stage with giant B&W posters of local scene-makers from that era who have since passed away. It was actually a nice tribute, and it was, uh, informative seeing as how I was wondering what happened to some of those people over the years. Shows how long I've been out of the loop.
I'm whipped. It was a nutty post-Christmas shopping day at the store. Oh, and Christmas was a pleasant enough laid-back affair with my family. Ate some food that I haven't allowed myself to have all month, and my father TiVo'ed the Blackadder Christmas special off BBC America so we sat around and watched that, much to my enjoyment. By the time my insulin resistance kicked in I was passing out during the supremely creepy The Polar Express so I knew it was time to bail. More of my haul later. I must hit the hay.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Stranded In The Future

First 20 tracks on my iTunes just getting back from the Norva at the local 80's band reunion show with some friends.
1. "Pi" - Kate Bush
2. "The Enemy" - D.O.A.
3. "Shangri-La" - Spike Jones New Band
4. "Granny Takes A Trip" - The Purple Gang
5. "God Bows To Math" - The Minutemen
6. "Orb" - Sam Rivers
7. "Come Home Early" - Big Bill Broonzy
8. "Pigeon" - Cannibal Ox
9. "Parnell Pitcher" - The Cold
10. "Halfway To Paradise" - Nick Lowe
11. "Mrs. Murphy's Ovaltine" - Slim G.
12. "We Want The Airwaves" - Ramones
13. "Frulings Bravour-Jodler" - Lydia Huber und die Lustigen Cheimgaumusikanten
14. "Don't Think About Me" - Earlimart
15. "(My Baby Does) Good Sculptures" - The Rezillos
16. "Look Like A Monkey" - Eddie Bond
17. "Summer Shoulders" - The Prime Ministers
18. "Little Girl" - Muddy Waters
19. "Miami Vice Theme" - Jan Hammer
20. "Think That Thought" - Planningtorock

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Myrna's Arm Death-Grip Keeps Her From Hurting Henrietta


e e e

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Do The Crusher You Turkey Necks!

Audio Junk 3 podcast download is ready when you are! Featuring tunes from The Residents, Princess Superstar, Pailhead, underground Motown, Prince, James Brown, and including clips from Generation Kill, Constantine's Sword, and more. Audio Junk is on every Tuesday night at 8pm EST at Random Radio, the chop shop of sound with DJ Joe Inc.


Wed 24: 10-6:30
Fri 26: 8-4
Sat 27: 4-cl
Sun 28: 5-cl
Tue 30: 10-6:30
Wed 31: 2-6:30
Thur 1: 10-6:30
Fri 2: 9-4

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Christmas Wrappin'

Say what you want about the economy, but people are still maniacs when it comes to the actual act of shopping for Christmas, and that my friends will never change. I guess it is nice being busy for a change, and especially being busy with actual staff on hand to help you out. Some folks that quit earlier this year and previous years are back for the season, but are sort of angling to stick around in hopes of something full time. Yeah, join the club. Shows how hard it is to find a job out there right now. And believe me, I know.

So what is everybody buying this year? Christmas music is dominated by the new Enya, followed closely by the new Sarah Brightman, both of which I'm monumentally sick of from instore play, not being that big a fan of either anyway. Hands down, though, the top Christmas music seller this season is Elvis Presley's Christmas Duets, a deeply sacrilegious bastardization of Elvis' glorious holiday originals with contemporary country and easy listening female performers trying to wedge their way into his territory with the jarring gaudiness of a candy-cane crowbar. We haven't been able to keep it in stock, to the point where we were burning copies offline onto blank disks and selling them at a cheaper rate -- and people were actually buying them! Anyhoodle, if you like your Christmas Elvis clips with a rudely intrusive Martina McBride situated Forrest Grump-style into one of the greatest live performances ever televised, Merry flippin' Christmas, you mugs! I hope you're all satisfied.

Secular music-wise, the Zac Brown Band is flying off the shelves, and luckily we have plenty because apparently they were anticipating such an onslaught. The same couldn't be said for The Priests, which suddenly got Il Divo-hot overnight and was the must-have for nonsensical bloviating this season. And lucky for us (not) the three hottest sellers of the year -- AC/DC's Black Ice, Guns 'N Roses' Chinese Democracy, and the Sheryl Crow's Home For Christmas -- were all exclusive to Walmart, Best Buy, and Hallmark, respectively. But we sure did get all the customers who had no idea about that!

Movies were all over the board. Classics, new crap, and strangely a lot of television shows from the 70's and 80's, like Roseanne and Little House On The Prairie. Everybody brayed loudly over wanting Planet Earth until they saw how much it was and they shut the hell up (luckily I got mine used ;) ). Other than that it was everything from Planet Of The Apes to Imitation Of Life, and it was kind of fun scavenger hunting with customers, trying to help them track down every single item on their lists. When I wasn't being pulled in every direction at once. Which was constant, so the fun would come in dribs and drabs. Tomorrow? Christ, I don't even wanna think about it...

Oh, and Joe gave me my Christmas presents today. Books, natch! And gift cards for more books! And one item that's, uh, a secret. But it was all good, according to the vernacular of the youth today. And Christmas looks just ducky from 6pm tomorrow on out. My dad's been in the hospital but he was released today, so he gets to spend the holidays with us. And I'm off, and Joe, uh, I still don't know if he's off yet or not. But it's almost over. Tomorrow. I can suck it up. Hold out 'til quittin' time. Then it's a ride through the neighborhoods to look at lights. And smile. And enjoy myself. Because I can.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Those Hands On Olivia Hussey's Sweater...

Also, check out this Betmax Christmas site. Everything is pulled from youtube, but there's something kinda cutely nostalgic about the old network TV set-up. Watch whole episodes, or refresh the page for more Christmas programs as you flip the channels.

Saturday, December 20, 2008


Mon 22: 4-cl
Tue 23: 4-cl
Wed 24: 10-6:30
Fri 26: 8-4
Sat 27: 4-cl

Friday, December 19, 2008

Majel Barrett-Roddenberry, 1932-2008


What's Bred In The Bone

I would just like to point out that this is a very strange website. And that is all.

WAIT! That's not all. Has anybody out there heard this bizarre version of "Frosty The Snowman" song over the melody for "Tequila" while they were out and about? I assume in various establishments where piped-in music occurs. Joe and I were laughing about it last week when we heard it in Ruby Tuesday's, and then I heard it again last night in the grocery store while buying a bottle of extra virgin olive oil. I mean, really? "Tequila"? It even had that part at the end where it goes "Bomp bomp BOMP-BOMP....!" and you expect them to shout "FROSTY!" but then they just let it end cold like that instead. Reminds me of the time years ago when Joe and I heard an equally curious version of "Deck The Halls" done to the tune of "Bo Diddley" while eating dinner at Steak & Ale, which indicates how long ago that probably took place.

I'm braced for the inevitable "O Little Town Of Bethlehem" done to "Who Let The Dogs Out" thirty years from now. Although by then I'll probably be too senile to remember the tune. God willing.

One more day of work and I have the weekend OFF. Bless you, Big Baby Jesus.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

The Punk Meets The Godfather

The gang that lived over my Colonial Avenue apartment in Norfolk, circa 1995.
(Aaron, Randy, Doug, Erin, Christin)

First 20 tracks from my iTunes at 5:48am and another goddam sleepless night...
1. "Girl" - Suicide
2. "The Show Must Go On" - Three Dog Night
3. "Ever So Clear" - Bushwick Bill
4. "Double Trouble" - The Roots
5. "Lovelight" - Robbie Williams
6. "Visions Of Johanna" - Bob Dylan
7. "Swing Like A Baby" - The Wolfgang Press
8. "JJ Burnell" - The Indicators
9. "Voodoo Child (Slight Return)" - Jimi Hendrix
10. "Shotgun Boogie" - Tennessee Ernie Ford
11. "Cancer" - Meat Beat Manifesto
12. "The Worst Is Yet To Come" - Teddy Thompson
13. "Spirits Rejoice" - Albert Ayler Quintet
14. "Dead Me You" - 8 Eyed Spy
15. "Soweto '76-'06" - Joy Denalane
16. "Empty Your Mind" - Shining Path
17. "Ca Plane Pour Moi" - Plastic Bertrand
18. "Neon Meate Dream Of A Octafish" - Captain Beefheart
19. "Boris The Spider" - The Who
20. "Zambra" - Willie & Lobo

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

The Show Must Go On

Audio Junk - "Same As It Never Was" podcast is up and ready for the DL, with this week's features clips from The Last Detail, THX1138 and tunes by Charlie Christian, Loop Guru, Spice 1, Van Halen, Paul Mitchell Trio and more. Hear it all live every Tuesday night at 8PM EST over at

Eyes In The Back Of My Head

I would just like to point out clearly that despite evidence to the contrary, I am not losing my mother-lovin' mind.
The photo you see above is so far the single, fragile scrap of evidence that I can procure proving that X was once on American Bandstand. And I know and remember this, because that picture you see above is the very first time I ever heard of or laid eyes on the group in my life.
Long-time readers, or just overall knowers of me, know that I have been looking for some physical proof of seeing this performance, which was probably some Saturday afternoon in 1982 having spent the night at my best friend Sheryl's house and tuning in to AB like we always did after Saturday morning cartoons. And the reason why I think it was 1982 was because Dick Clark, sitting in the audience with the kids before announcing the band, held up the album cover to X's 1982 release Under The Big Black Sun -- with cover art intriguing enough as it is -- and explained how this upcoming band held the distinction of never having had a single bad review written about them in their entire career. I was thirteen years old, and Sheryl was probably either eleven or twelve, and we were both dying to check out this curious criticism-free ensemble. With John Doe and Exene Cervenka, in her black-and-white skunk hair, harmonizing through "Hungry Wolf" like twin ghosts desperately howling through an abandoned house, it left two pre-teen girls accustomed to the likes of Thomas Dolby and A Flock Of Seagulls thoroughly gobsmacked. So much so, I suppose, that it took me five years later to buy a copy of their See How We Are album in college, and later acquire Los Angeles, Wild Gift, More Fun In The New World, watch The Decline of Western Civilization a buzzillion times, and utterly fall head over heels with Bonebrake, Zoom, Doe, and that skunk-haired wailing ghost of a woman by his side.
I was talking to Al on the phone tonight, telling him about first seeing X on American Bandstand as a kid, and naturally he refused to believe me. Mostly because it's Al and he just likes to be a contrary bastard, but in his defense he was online searching while on the horn with me and kept coming up bupkis, which is exactly what's happened to me every time I tried to do a little research on the subject myself over the years. Nowhere have I seen mention of X on AB, even in AB archives that I've visited, and even music geeks and fellow X fans I've talked to over the years insist I must have dreamt the whole thing. This photo, found here, with a short blurb about the experience, is the closest I've come to proving that I don't dream up first sightings of punk bands on Saturday mornings after cartoons, or movies about dead babies, or dirty fish tanks and broken elevators. Wait, I always have dreams about dirty fish tanks and broken elevators. Usually after heavy doses of mind-altering prescription cough syrup. Which is why I'm always having them.
Help me find the video clip of this performance, and you will have justified my entire existence. Just imagine how immeasurably satisfying that would be!
Meanwhile, enjoy the single to "Hungry Wolf". Because I always do.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Drowning On Dry Land

It seems that some benevolent soul over at kindertrauma has already weighed in on my movie-findin' dilemma. They seem to think unequivocally that the picture I'm looking for is Five, written and directed byscreenwriter, novelist and filmmaker Arch Oboler, also famed as the voice for NBC's horror radio show Light's Out in the 1930's. Reading this synopsis it really seems to be exactly the film that I was looking for, only... well, this picture came out in 1951, and it's in black and white, while I seem to remember the flick I saw being in color, and looking more like something vaguely modern day ("modern day" being the 1970's, around when I first saw it). Then again that could be the fractured childhood memories filling in the blanks where accurate recollection has failed. Much like the memory of my breasts growing super huge in the middle of one night and nearly crushing me in my sleep (um, wait a minute...)

Now, how do I find this movie?

It's not on DVD, which doesn't surprise me. What does surprise me is that it's not on VHS either, or at least not on eBay, Amazon, or otherwise in any format. Nothing on youtube, either. I see that it has played on TCM once or twice in recent years, so I guess it's still making the occasional rounds on cable and whatnot. Has anybody out there seen this movie? Can anybody recall the dialogue between the man and woman during the scene where the baby dies? Movie trailer? Screen caps? Bittorrent? Gggnnnnaaahhh? *pulling hair*

I'll make a trade for a copy. Pleeeease? *bats eyes*


Tue 16: 9-5
Wed 17: 5-cl
Thur 18: 10-6:30
Fri 19: 3-cl

Monday, December 15, 2008

Emphasis Mine

Kindertrauma posted my trauma! Although nobody has yet weighed in on what movie they think it might be, the week is still young. And so was I, once. ONCE!

Several years ago there was this mysterious video feed that would pop up on some cable network channel (TBS? Something like that) promptly at 4pm, and last for about four hours where their regularly scheduled programming would continue as if uninterrupted. I don't remember any call letters or station identification during those hours so I can't remember the name of the program or if anyone else other than locally received its signal, but it used to show some of the most bizarre and, dare I say, fascinating music videos to equally fascinating songs that I had never heard of from bands that often I was never familiar with, and even though they rotated the same twenty-five or so music videos over and over every day I still watched enraptured at the shoddily-made creations for often truly terrible songs, which made it all the more entrancing. Reminded me a lot of the early days of MTV, back in the summer of 1983 when the same few mysterious videos would parade past and I'd stay glued to the set, wondering what the heck I'd possible see next. Does anybody remember this? Like, around the early to mid part of the decade? I'm searching for old videos that I might have taped, or that might be floating on youtube just on the memory of what I'd seen, and here's two that I've traced down so far:

Joe and I would laugh our asses off every time this Betty Blowtorch video would crank, likening them to a distaff Spinal Tap in their sheer awfulness. Little did I realize at the time that the band consisted of former L7 Jennifer Finch and the late Bianca Butthole from Butt Trumpet. Still don't know if they are a complete put-on or not but either way, I'm utterly endeared to it now.

And this one from something called the Gerbil Liberation Front pretty much defies explanation. But I went through a phase of singing this song nearly every day, demanding new and daunting challenges of meriones mastication with "Bring it on!" every chance I got. Um, still get.

We also have a song and accompanying video about sending Chuck Berry into space, but Joe's youtube account was deleted and he hasn't put it back on yet. But I'll be sure to post it when he does because, well... Chuck Berry. In space. I meant it's not Roy Orbison in Cling-Film, but there's something out there for everybody. That's why I love this great land of ours.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Roll In My Sweet Baby's Arms

I gotta say I'm feeling.... pretty darn good right now.

Remarkable, I know. After so-and-so many years, since I moved, since I gained weight, since work bent me over the information table and stole my innocence... this is probably the first time I can genuinely recall experiencing a noticeable... heft taken off my chest (and I don't mean my garbanzos neither). And since nothing's really changed except for my diet I suppose I have to chalk it all up to that for the time being. No meat, no sugar, very little dairy, and whole grain breads and pastas (my groceries this morning consisted of only pineapple, melon, grapes, avocado, bananas, broccoli, carrots, hummus, salsa, and a bag of raw mixed nuts) and I'm amazed how not hungry I am, and how wide awake I feel even in the middle of the day when my body would normally try to shut down -- although I did pass out a little on the couch this afternoon while watching The Last Detail right after lunch. And I sensed I've lost weight. I certainly don't look as if I have, but more importantly I feel it, in my carriage, in the way I move, and the way I execute the little things I do every day. It's fantastic. It's the way I used to feel. Alive

I think this time I really am starting to come back. And in the past I've been hesitant to repeat that hope in fear that I might jinx it, over and over again like I have. Meanwhile, my friends and everyone I owe emails, I'm sorry it's taken me a bit to get to you. On top of work being hell this week and not being online as much, the depression kept me practically catatonic for days on end. I'm finally seeing a break in the clouds. And hopefully, a better me that all of you can enjoy again. Thank you a thousand times for your adoring support.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Bettie Page 1923-2008

I'll have a blue Christmas without you.

EDIT: Because I quite simply can't take my eyes of this clip.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Does Seeing The Film Count?

Meme ganked from wemblee today:

What we have here is the top 106 books most often marked as "unread" by LibraryThing’s users. As in, they sit on the shelf to make you look smart or well-rounded. Bold the ones you've read, underline the ones you read for school, italicize the ones you started but didn't finish.

Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell (should pick this up again)
Anna Karenina (Christ, I wanted to punch her)
Crime and Punishment

One Hundred Years of Solitude
Wuthering Heights (I marked both because I first read it as an oral report in high school, even did a cartoon of it for the class, but didn't offically pick it up and read it for pleasure until eight years later. Now one of my favorite books of all time.)
The Silmarillion
Life of Pi : a novel
The Name of the Rose
Don Quixote
Moby Dick

Madame Bovary
The Odyssey
Pride and Prejudice
Jane Eyre (Liked this almost as much as her sister's book)
The Tale of Two Cities (Annoyed the heck out of me. My dad rented the movie for me the night of the big test and I aced it.)
The Brothers Karamazov
Guns, Germs, and Steel: the fates of human societies
War and Peace
Vanity Fair
The Time Traveler’s Wife
The Iliad
The Blind Assassin
The Kite Runner
Mrs. Dalloway
Great Expectations
American Gods
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius (Another one that annoyed.)
Atlas Shrugged
Reading Lolita in Tehran : a memoir in books
Wicked : the life and times of the wicked witch of the West
The Canterbury Tales
The Historian : a novel
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
Love in the Time of Cholera
Brave New World
The Fountainhead
Foucault’s Pendulum (Just Dave and I used to yammer on about this book way back when.)
The Count of Monte Cristo
A Clockwork Orange
Anansi Boys
The Once and Future King
The Grapes of Wrath
The Poisonwood Bible : a novel
Angels & Demons
The Inferno
The Satanic Verses
Sense and Sensibility
The Picture of Dorian Gray
Mansfield Park
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
To the Lighthouse
Tess of the D’Urbervilles
Oliver Twist
Gulliver’s Travels
Les Misérables
The Corrections
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time
The Prince
The Sound and the Fury
Angela’s Ashes : a memoir
The God of Small Things
A People’s History of the United States : 1492-present
A Confederacy of Dunces (One of my top two novels of all time.)
A Short History of Nearly Everything
The Unbearable Lightness of Being
Slaughterhouse-five (Bigger fan of Cat's Cradle.)
The Scarlet Letter
Eats, Shoots & Leaves
The Mists of Avalon
Oryx and Crake : a novel
Collapse : how societies choose to fail or succeed
Cloud Atlas
The Confusion
Lolita (Love this to death. The man has a way with prose like nobody's business.)
Northanger Abbey
The Catcher in the Rye
On the Road
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Freakonomics : a rogue economist explores the hidden side of everything
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance : an inquiry into values
The Aeneid
Watership Down
Gravity’s Rainbow
The Hobbit
In Cold Blood : a true account of a multiple murder and its consequences
White Teeth
Treasure Island
David Copperfield
The Three Musketeers

Can anybody recommend anything? I'm in want of some reading material these days.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

I'm Always Chasing Rainbows

First 20 tracks on my iTunes this evening having gone almost a full week without eating meat (mmmmm, meat)...
1. "Evolution (live)" - The Legendary Pink Dots
2. "We Prick You" - David Bowie
3. "Jerusalem" - The Fall
4. "The Junky's Christmas" - William S. Burroughs
5. "1999" - Prince & the Revolution
6. "The Prophet's Song" - Queen
7. "Lots Of Lovin'" - Pete Rock & CL Smooth
8. "Happy" - Public Image Ltd.
9. "Eating Noddemix" - Young Marble Giants
10. "Dheem Thana Thana Nana" - Vijaya Anand
11. "Martyr" - Destroy All Nels Cline
12. "Veronica Fever" - The Raveonettes
13. "Save Me" - k.d. lang
14. "Hey Grandma" - Moby Grape
15. "Never Let Me Down" - David Bowie
16. "Second Hand Anxiety" - False Sacrement
17. "Call To The Heart" - Giuffria
18. "To Each His Own" - The Ink Spots
19. "Fist Magnet" - Bad Livers
20. "Welcome To The Pleasuredome" - Frankie Goes To Hollywood

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

When I Was A Freeport And You Were The Main Drag

Sort of a truncated Audio Junk this evening as Joe wasn't able to connect to the station due to our own internet connection fubar, but you've still got about 2 hours of crunk junk in da trunk ready for download, mixing samples from movies like The Ten, Two Minute Warning, Top Secret! and music from Prince, Peace Love & Pitbulls, and more. You can always catch Audio Junk live every Tuesday night from 8pm to 11pm EST on Random Radio Online Dot Net and hear Joe struggle with his muse as it happens!

Monday, December 08, 2008


Tue 9: 5-cl
Thur 11: 5-cl
Sat 13: 9-5
Mon 15: 4-cl
Tue 16: 9-5
Wed 17: 5-cl
Thur 18: 10-6:30
Fri 19: 3-cl

March Of The Falsettos

Soooooo, the Shoe universe takes place in Minneapolis? Somehow I can't see the professor chillin' down at First Avenue waiting for Hüsker Dü or The Time to hit the stage (I'd be tempted to make a doing "The Bird" joke here, but even I think that's lame even for me).

FORTY-FIVE YEARS??? How far into the freakin' future does this comic take place? And will birds rule the earth then? (I for one, welcome our new avian overlords...)

Anyway, color me stoked to see The Replacements mentioned in a Sunday comic today. I was a huge fan back in college and their music is still so amazingly nostalgic to me. And few can argue the merits of minimalism when it comes to this classic video...

The guy kicking the speaker at the end sort of reminds me of when Randy lived upstairs from me at my old apartment in Ghent and one morning at 6am he became so angry and fed up with his shoddy stereo he pitched the entire thing out of the bedroom window three stories up from the street, one component at a time. I remember lying in bed and opening one eye, awakened to the sound of his GODDAMPISSMOTHERFUCKERPIECEASHITGAAAHHHH as one speaker after another flew past my bedroom window and crashed into the alley below.

Sunday, December 07, 2008

R.I.P. Forrest J. Ackerman

I really wanted to visit the Ackermansion back during my first trip to Los Angeles, but I had heard that they had closed it down. Then I hear that there were probably several Ackermansions, as Ackerman apparently owned two or three homes full of sci-fi/monster movie memorabilia. I suppose one had to in order to house as much as that man had. So maybe there's still one of his houses out there with some stuff to look at. I likes lookin' at!

Saturday, December 06, 2008

The Aspartame And The Damage Done

I've been reading Skinny Bitch lately, or rather Hippie Bitch is a more apt title as much as it is more a diatribe against all things meat and dairy and anything non-organic, but I admit it has consciously or otherwise shaped my eating habits these days, and aided me in my quest to kick sugar again. Other than the fact I've become addicted to just eating hummus on Ak-Mak whole wheat crackers for breakfast, lunch and dinner -- which I shouldn't be but I tend to go through phases like this -- I have also ordered off for some packets of Stevia to see how well I take to that. Reading Sugar Busters years ago taught me the evils of refined sugar, but even a few ounces of sugar is better for you than the likes of Equal and Nutrasweet. And as much as I like Splenda I can't keep pumping chlorine into my body and expect to be as healthy as I used to be (makes sense, right?). The great thing about being off sugar is that once you get it out of your system, you will never want it or crave it or even become remotely tempted by it ever again. Only thing is getting there is a monster. Your body reacts as if you are depriving yourself of your daily heroin dose, which probably goes leagues into proving how toxic and dependent this shit can be. So instead of going the Atkins route, which I did successfully back in 2004-2005 but seems to be making me sick when I try it now, I'm seeking out healthier sugar alternatives, like Stevia, which comes from a small flowering plant from Paraguay and is all natural and calorie free. I'm hoping this keeps me awake from now on, until I regain my health and lose my weight and be the healthy and mentally normal person I was three years ago. I just had some organic mushroom tomato sauce over pasta made of brown rice, which was.... not bad, really, but pasta made of brown rice appears to become just as mushy and slimy as, well, brown rice, so I think I'm going back to whole wheat pasta again which actually isn't much firmer but considerably less rice-slimy.

Yesterday was the annual 40% off employee day so managed to knock out a few Christmas prezzies, like Galaxy Quest and The Simpsons season 11 for Cullen and James Michener's Centennial: The Complete Series for dad (which I watched a few months ago, having not seen since bits and pieces on television when I was a kid). But I did snag a used copy of something I've needed to replace on vinyl for awhile...

Neil Young's 1970 third album After The Gold Rush, which is probably my favorite of his complete solo work. It's funny, but the first time I had ever seen or heard of Neil Young is was when MTV used to strip-run this video every hour, and for years I just assumed that Young was just some derelict-lookin' doo-wop dude. Until later hearing the likes of the monumentally depressing Tonight's The Night or his ear-bleeding industrial noise concepts. Although thanks to early MTV I still picture him wanderin' jerkily around Los Angeles in a pink-n-white checked shirt, looking like he needs two bits for a cup of coffee. And a bath.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008


Enjoy Tuesday night's Audio Junk XIII, already up for podcast. The Chop-Shop of Sound with DJ JOE INC the world's worst mixing DJ, with clips from Midnight Cowboy, songs by Mussolini Headkick, Bill Withers and Blackfoot, to name a few. Audio Junk is on every Tuesday night at 8PM EST on
Catch it live! Or not.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

L'esprit D'escalier

There's this guy, you see. White-haired fellow, possibly in his sixties. He comes into my store every once in awhile to sell back used DVDs and, well, he's kind of a jerk. Not outright screaming assholery that most of our more uncouth clientele resort to when unsatisfied. More a quiet, seething animosity from this guy for absolutely no reason at all. Every single time I have ever had to deal with him, he is angry, rude, and overall Just Not Happy With Life. And last night was no exception. One of my last customers of the evening, I groaned to myself seeing him standing impatiently at the register where I do my buybacks, already griping to the boy checking the quality of the disks before I got there. Only selling back The Far Country and Duel In The Sun, instead of arguing he just gave me his best long, poisonously whithering glare before he sighed dramatically and agreed to the amount. He took the money and left, and I went about my evening getting ready to close up shop for the night.

Normally I get over our usual exchanges, but last night left me angrier than normal. I have done nothing but be the perfect sales clerk to this gentleman in every single exchange, and he never fails to treat me as if the satisfaction he demands will never be met by the likes of someone like me. I was steamed all night long, even later at home. And even the next morning. I almost felt like calling out sick today just because I didn't feel like dealing with him again if he so happened to pop back in the next night. Normally I don't get that worked up over those kinds of customers. But last night my defenses were down, and I had had it. But coming to my senses I went into work anyway. Not like I have sick leave anymore like I used to.

Well, last night right as we were closing, I found a strange knife lying on the counter next to the register where I do my buybacks. I had never seen anything quite like it. I showed it to one of the guys I work with, and he had never seen anything like it either. It resembled a scalpel, sort of, with a long slim handle and short blade, like the kind you would use for small, precision cutting. Except that it was retractable, like a switchblade. And really, really amazingly sharp. The kind of sharp where I brushed the flat of my thumb gingerly down the flat of the blade to the edge and pulled back, as if the sharpness was giving off actual heat. The guy I work with took the blade and said he would show it to Nate in the morning when he arrived, and I thought nothing else of it for the rest of the night. We sometimes find tiny cutting items in our store from where thieves try to break the seals of our DVDs, though admittedly nothing like this had ever crossed our collective paths.

This morning apparently Nate called the police and gave them the knife to inspect. They took it back to the station, and around 9:30am that very same customer that I had last night called and angrily demanded the "letter opener" that he had accidentally left in our store last night. Needless to say the guy was livid that Nate turned it over to the police, whom had told us that even they had no idea what kind of knife that was, and it even scared them just looking at it. I spoke to the police officer about our encounter last night, and the policeman said that he was going to make the guy come directly to the police station to pick up his knife. Perhaps to check the guy out themselves, but as far as I was concerned all I cared about was not having to see that man again first thing in the morning, if at all anymore, since Nate wants to ban him from the store. "He could have pulled that knife on you, Melissa!" Nate exclaimed. " I won't have crazy people pulling out dangerous weapons at an open cash register!" Even Tracy was telling me that why on earth would a guy carry a razor sharp "letter opener" wherever he went, and pull it out while we were doing a transaction. Did somebody walk up at that moment and maybe change his mind about...

No, honestly, I don't really think this guy would have tried to rob or hurt me. As mean as he is, he doesn't strike me as the killin' type. Of course it's usually those types that get the most killin' in, aren't they? And really now, who's going to get into a scrap over the monetary worth of flippin' Duel In The Sun? Jesus Christ, Jennifer Jones reeked in that picture, yo. Among other things.

Anyway, if anything good comes out of my last few wretched months with this company, it would be never having to see Crazy It's-Only-A-Letter-Opener Guy back in the store again. Sure dude, and my nametag laminate gets me backstage at all the swinging' Fishbone concerts. Which , by the way, I ALSO MISSED AT THE JEWISH MOTHER LAST NIGHT. Yeah yeah, the evening pretty much sucked all the way around.

Monday, December 01, 2008


Tue 2: 10-5
Thur 4: 4-cl
Sun 7: 12-8
Mon 8: 5-cl
Tue 9: 5-cl
Thur 11: 5-cl
Sat 13: 9-5

The Gonzo Strip

First 20 tracks on my iTunes this morning still struggling with my hideous haircut.

1. "Miss Heather Rosemary Sewell" - Bert Jansch
2. "September Gurls" - Big Star
3. "Harry Worth"- Elvis Costello & The Attractions
4. "Musicology" - Prince
5. "Leave My Kitten Alone" - Little WIllie John
6. "Threnody" - Hate
7. "Stickin' In My Eye" - NOFX
8. "Lana" - Tangerine Dream
9. "Conspiracy Of Myth" - Antipop Consortium
10. "New York Girl" - Vance Degeneres
11. "This Can't Be Today" - Rain Parade
12. "Bitch" - Rinocerose
13. "Monk Time" - The Monks
14. "Voodoo Child (slight Return)" - Jimi Hendrix
15. "Soul Shoes (live)" - Graham Parker & The Rumour
16. "You Can't Hide" - Maktub
17. "Deeper" - Shelley/Devoto
18. "Cubik" - 808 State
19. "Synchro System" - King Sunny Ade
20. "Mojo Queen" - Ike & Tina Turner